Day: February 20, 2014

Campus conquest…

I have been doing a lot of thinking. Mostly about that lovely maiden I saw yesterday. I went out again this morning but failed to see her. Surely I did not imagine her? Surely I will see her again and will make her mine? I am not used to not getting what I want. I will not say I am prone to tantrums, but let us say that whenever I am displeased, someone suffers.

I have also been thinking about my destiny to rule Earth. It occurs to me that perhaps, before I subjugate the entire realm of Midgard, I ought to work on conquering part of it. A black-leather-booted foot in the door, so to speak.

With that in mind, I have decided to begin by claiming the human female’s workspace. I have already made my presence felt in her "office." I have scrambled the weather, fouled up student registrations, increased the level of flimsy student excuses, disarranged important orders, mislaid papers, and tampered with steam supplies, door locks, and computer directories. The Midgardians who are aware of my presence are nearly at the point of making sacrifices to me, which is quite gratifying. I shall demand jewels, weapons, furs, and cookies, of which I have become quite fond. (Why do we not have cookies in Asgard? Ale. We have ale. And boasting. And facial hair.)

Now to expand and claim the entire A&M campus. The timing is good, as they are currently looking for a new President. I would make a great president. A small army comes with the position. I could easily rouse the Corps of Cadets to carry out my every command. Then I would divert all the money, materials, and manpower from the many campus construction projects and begin building a palace fit for a god. Surely that is more important that football or parking?

I must become more familiar with the campus so that I may decide where best to place my palace. I am visiting the Academic Building, which occupies a central location. It is not the first building on this site. Since a previous structure burned to the ground, no one would mind if this one too were to be replaced.

Hmm. I notice that even though A&M’s colors are supposedly maroon and white, the floor tiling in this edifice is executed in black and green. Black and green! I approve! I shall allow this building to remain and continue my campus tour.

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