Day: May 3, 2014

breakfast, part 5. Booby trap!

I know the human female. If she feels better in the morning, she’ll be up early to do churchy things–but she’s never running as early as she ought to be. She won’t sit down to a proper breakfast. She’ll just go for a frozen waffle she can eat standing up.

It took some careful balancing and a fine touch with the physics, but I’ve arranged the freezer contents in such a way that something cold and heavy will fall on her toes when she opens the door. It’s like I always say–you can’t be too careful around Italian whey-based cheeses…
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breakfast, part 4

For some reason, the human female didn’t want the cereal I prepared for her yesterday.

Today she is sick and producing vast quantities of the most disgusting nose goo, as well as some truly horrible noises. She is irritable, bedraggled, and probably horribly infectious. I suggested to her that some scrambled eggs would be nourishing and easy to swallow.

Hmmm. Looks like even the eggs will find her revolting.
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