Day: July 10, 2014

Let me set that for you.

Humans make a big fuss about something called “distracted driving.” They’re mostly of the opinion that it’s not a good or safe thing to do. Apparently their puny brains (unlike mine) are not designed to multitask.

The safety of the humans while driving is of utmost concern to me because I am often in the car as well. To make sure they are not distracted by fiddling about with the audio device in their vehicle, I have helpfully deactivated the tuning knobs and programmed in a suite of pre-set listening stations.


I may adjust them further in the future, but for now, they stand at:

  1. Farm reports
  2. Mariachi polka music
  3. Modern atonal opera
  4. Gangsta rap
  5. Over-excited, money-seeking evangelists

I was not sure what to lock in for the sixth, so I’ve used a bit of magic to ensure that it cycles randomly between conspiracy theory talk shows, Japanese noise “music”, non-stop bluegrass, the wailings of someone called Justin Bieber, and enchanting baroque concertos that will always commence in mid-movement and finish without being back-announced.

Oh, and I think I shall adjust the clock and climate controls as well. Let’s see how long it takes them to figure out why they are always ten minutes late and roasting…

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