Month: August 2014


I have heard the humans speak of this oblong breakfast as a kola… Kola… Kolachamathingy. I think they usually contain oozy fruit, though this one seems to be full of cheese and… something else. ??? Some unfortunate animal, evidently.


Kolache, kolace, kolacky*….Whatever. I’m not sure I want to eat a food I cannot spell.

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* Not to be confused with kolaczki, which are something else entirely. Stupid Midgardian food.


I’ve heard the human female say she really hates it when things drop between the counter and the cooling box in the kitchen. And we all know she never moves the box to clean down there. No, things that fall into this space just gather dust and dry up. Sometimes they smell funny. I think I will leave her a little something.


Bye-bye, cheese!

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The human female is notoriously clumsy and accident-prone. Here she is with yet another minor injury. No doubt she will meech and moan about this for days. Such a fuss over such a tiny amount of blood! Be quiet and go get yourself a bandage.


These bandages are guaranteed sterile "unless the package is opened or damaged." Oh, my. Will you look at that. They all appear to have been opened. Looks like you will be dying of sepsis.


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