Day: September 10, 2014

No job is finished until the paperwork is done

I have seen to it that the human female has earned her keep at her place of employment these past few weeks.

Granted, the supplies for the current semester are (mostly) here and classes are meeting as scheduled, but I have touched the process with my own special magic.

Permit me to brag:

–The new camera for the new microscope arrived. Surprise! It was defective. She arranged for a replacement. It too, failed to perform. After testing every possible permutation of camera, viewing screen, and connecting cable, it was determined that yes, there CAN be two bilgesnipe in a row. Back they both go. She has spent a large portion of this week trying to source a different model and ascertain that it will play nicely existing equipment. I made certain that the chosen vendor was not in the purchasing software system. Getting it into the system has generated a small flurry of papers.

–New electronic door locks were installed in the building some weeks ago. I have personally seen to it that they are now malfunctioning with no discernible pattern. (You saw me work with one door earlier.) Certain doors open once in six or eight tries. Some doors require a fast, assertive swipe of the card; others demand a slow, steady swipe. Some users can open this door, but not that one. Some doors work only with select key cards. Some users cannot open anything at all, or are declared "valid" for the building and the elevator, but not the classroom they need to teach in. Of course, all the locks behave perfectly when the locksmith comes to investigate. I think I have actually sprained something laughing!

–I have arranged for a random assortment of purchases to be backordered for varying–and increasing–lengths of time. The forceps *may* appear this week. Or they may not. Two types of prepared microscope slide have been unavailable since the spring and had to be cancelled entirely. The apothecary bottles–ehehehe, the apothecary bottles!–they will not arrive until NEXT MONTH, and I changed the order from five bottles to FIVE CASES of ten each in the vendor’s database. At $78 Midgardian dollars per bottle, that’s a nicely pricey difference! And the preserved hagfish, all eleven of them, are somewhere en route and have been tracked as far as Buffalo in the state of New York. (There is no state of Old York. I am still studying Midgardian place naming practices and have found no rules of thumb…)

This is the typical state of the human female’s desk by the end of the day:

paperwork.jpg

There also books and papers on the rest of the desk and, often, the floor.

That is enough chaos for one day. Tomorrow, I think it will be time for some of the digits in those infernally long parcel tracking numbers to be transposed, I shall divert the hagfish to a town I pick blindfolded from a map, and some major piece of equipment will mysteriously begin to smell funny and emit a bit of smoke.

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