Day: December 3, 2014

It wasn’t me. By Odin’s beard, it wasn’t me.

Yes, I have been known to ponder the odd human-brain-in-a-jar, but that doesn’t mean I would ever even remotely begin to harbor the merest speckle of the ghost of the start of a notion to amass a whole purloined collection of them.

So much nope. You will have to lay this at someone else’s door.  I suggest you start with the U.T. dining hall and see if the pickled cauliflower looks a little dicey recently.

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p.s.  I can sneak quite a bit past the dim human female, but I think she’d probably notice something like this if I brought it home.

p.p.s.  Yes, cauliflower jokes are disrespectful of the dead.  Remember who you are dealing with.  Bad guy, remember?

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Tinkering for a good cause

The weather has sorted itself out a bit at the moment (we have had hot, cold, hot, cold, windy, hot, repeat…) and the human female isn’t doing anything interesting, so I am taking a walk outside. Look at this–the Powers That Be have installed some self-service maintenance stations for taking care of the myriad treacherous bicycles which infest the campus. I have been nearly flattened by them on numerous occasions. Obviously, I have some work to do!

Hmm. Wrench, screwdriver, and… maybe another screwdriver. Something preternaturally pointy, anyway. From this moment on each of these will be just a few millimeters off and won’t fit any make of bike.

biketools1.jpg

Ditto these bits, whatever they are.

biketools2.jpg

Now they’ll just be a collection of useless swings for people of my stature.

And finally…

bikeair.jpg

…the air supply will now read 15 psi below actual tire pressure. Inner tubes make a most satisfying “boom!” when over-inflated.

All hail, Loki, making the campus safer for pedestrians!

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