Month: December 2014

Final Preparations, Part II: It’s all *kinds* of festive up in here.

I was afraid of this. Sigyn has caught the decorating bug.

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That’s my girl.

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Um…no.

Let’s hang these glittering yule balls instead. There is a green one, a red one, and a red-and-green one.

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Done. Now Sigyn has decided we need a tree of our own. Very well, my sweet. Anything to make you happy.

Garlands, check. Ornaments, check.

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Candy canes, check.

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Very funny, Sigyn, very funny.

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Final Preparations, Part I — O, Yggdrasil, O, Yggdrasil

Last year, when I arrived on Midgard, the humans had a large, decorated tree in their home. I am gratified this year to be able to assist with the process of decorating a similar one. It’s no Yggdrasil, but I believe I can add that special Loki touch.

I understand that illuminating the boughs is the most tedious portion of the job. I can help with that. First, I shall test all the lights.

Green for me, red for Sigyn. These are working!

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–Stomp! Crunch!– These, sadly, are not. Oh, dear. Was that the last spare?

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Around, around, around we go. There! Lights are on. Careful, Sigyn! Dangling can be dangerous.

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Now it’s time to decorate. Let me gather all the hooks into a nice, tangly pile. I can even make them more hook-y. More is better.

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Ornaments come next. The human female has a disturbingly large collection of glass fruits and vegetables. She has this twitchy compulsion about hanging the ornaments just so, making sure that they’re spaced precisely, the colors are evenly distributed, and all the radishes don’t end up on one side.

Clearly, she is doing it wrong. All the green ones need to be together. Sigyn, will you please fetch me the kiwi slice, the broccoli, both pea-pods, and the pickle?

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Sigyn? Sigyn? Where’s Sigyn?

Oh. Distracted by bells.

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Another Yule custom

It is the custom at the human female’s work place to gather everyone for a holiday luncheon to which everyone brings a dish. Mainly, it is an excuse to slip off work for a good while and an opportunity to consume an inordinate quantity of food, under the guise of "trying a little bit of everything."

Many of the dishes are unfamiliar to me. I recognize lettuce, but what are these little grains with the curly bits? I don’t trust them. And why does the turkey appear to be bleeding?

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Very well, we obviously have some fruit, placed on the plate as a fleeting nod to nutrition. But what are the various yellow concoctions? I heard someone mention "stuffing," but that’s what the human female is doing. I want to know what she’s eating.

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Ah, dessert! Sigyn and I like dessert!

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We have apple pie, some cake, a triangle of strawberry cheesecake in fancy dress, and… and…and whatever this quaking cube thingy is. Sigyn says she heard someone call it "flan." You can’t fool me. That’s not a real word. Before I taste it, I will wait and see if the human female eats it without expiring.

Oh, and Sigyn–it looks as if some careless person dropped a few nuts on your cheesecake. You aren’t allergic, are you?

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Reach out and touch someone

I thought the human female was finished with her Yule preparations when the wrapping was completed. Apparently not.

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It seems what happens after Wrapping is Cards. Midgardians send one another short, "heartfelt" seasonal messages and long, braggarty sagas of what they and their pernicious offspring have been up to. They write these missives on colorful bits of cardboard, enclosed in colorful bits of paper. Then they stick on colorful labels with notes about who it’s from and where it should go. The final touch is another colorful sticker meant to bribe the courier to actually deliver it. It strikes me as a lot of color, paper products, and ink to pass along what are at best trite (and at worst insincere!) wishes. Often, many of these cards go to people out of a sense of obligation. (The human female with whom I reside is more sincere than most, I think. She does actually write a real note in most of her cards, and she seems to care about the people to whom she sends them. But it still seems like a lot of work.)

Sigyn asks if there aren’t people to whom I’d like to send a holiday message of my own. Hmm. Now that I think about it…

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[tags yule, Yule is a time for family, quaint Midgardian customs)

What I did with my Sunday

Most Midgardians like to rest or recreate on the weekends. Naps happen. Not me! There is SO MUCH mischief to accomplish and so few hours in which to accomplish it all that I can’t afford to take a break.

Today I did something big and noisy and it made a huge mess and was very satisfying.

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Gone are the days of wires and plungers. With one little button and a radio transmitter, I was able to… Well, let’s just let the video speak for itself:

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