Help Wanted, Part IX: The Eighth Interview

I think I have someone coming in today. The human female “accidentally” erased the phone message. She swears she didn’t mean to, but she has been annoyed that all the phone calls have been for me recently–she has no friends, or if she does, they never call. “Losing” my messages is just a petty, passive-aggressive manifestation of her insecurities.

I knew it– there is the doorbell. Sigyn, let me get it. You never know who it might be. Yes, it is the season for small, female Midgardian children to hawk cookies door-to-door, and their thin, minty biscuits are particularly tasty, but it might equally be homicidal robots or mutagen-swilling bio-psychologists.

See? I told you–it’s a… a…


Actually, I have no clue what this is. A furry Frost Giant on skis and eating an ice-lolly?? That can’t be right. Frost Giants aren’t furry, and we never need skis. Sigyn, start the recorder. We may have ourselves a first-contact situation!

Loki: Good morning…Sir? Come on in and take off your skis. Are you here about the henchman position? What is your name, please?

Furry Blue Being: <Yelp!>

Loki: I’m sorry? Are you in pain, or is that your name?

Furry Blue Being: <Yelp>

Loki: I am Loki, and this is Sigyn. You are…?

Furry Blue Being: <Yelp>

Loki: Yelp it is, then. Do you speak English?

Yelp: कुनै

Loki: Har du kanskje snakke Norse? Oletteko kenties puhua suomea? Islensku?

Yelp: म तपाईं बुझ्न सक्नुहुन्छ, तर म आफ्नो भाषा बोल्न सक्दैनन्।

Loki: Hmm. Nod, then, if you understand me? Ah. Very good. Now, what can you offer my organization?


Yelp: यो स्वादिष्ट उपचार खान कृपया

Loki: Apparently, popsicles.

Sigyn: Thank you. It looks delicious! Is it blueberry?

Yelp: तपाईं जान्न चाहँदैनन्।

Loki: Areful-cay ith-way the opsicle-pay… So, Yelp. How are you at being brutally ruthless?

Yelp: म मान्छे गले गर्न रुचि


Sigyn: Awww! He likes you! That’s so sweet!

Yelp: अन्य मानिसहरू स्वादिष्ट बरफ पर्खिरहेका छन्। म अब जानुपर्छ। सायद हामी एकदिन फेरि भेट्न हुनेछ।


Loki: There is not the smallest particle of that which made sense.

Sigyn: Mmm. Raspberry?


>|: [

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s