Month: February 2015

Lessons in Mischief: A word in the right ear

Villainy is a fine art. A delicate instrument, not a blunt object. Never shout when a whisper will do.

Case in point: Many of the human female’s teaching labs feature a small aquarium housing fish and a number of interesting/ potentially edible/ possibly toxic invertebrates.

This semester, one of the lab courses was moved to a new (ish) room in a different building, so the human and her staff moved the fish tank to the new room.

Now, I could have tinkered with the plumbing or the electricity for the pump and filter–or the life forms themselves–but no! Not when I could let forces already in play do my dirty work and wreak their own havoc. (Besides, we’ve already had a lot of plumbing pranks. I like to diversify.)

Let’s just say that somehow the Animal Use Committee heard about the simple move and drew itself up to its full regulatory height and deemed the move a Setup of a New Tank and demanded an inspection, requiring an overhaul of the workgroup’s entire live animal permit. No, the fact that this tank had been set up every year in the old room did not count. No, no animals could be placed in it until it had been inspected in its new room. No, a dry set-up is not good enough; the tank must be running, just uninhabited.

Which is why Sigyn and I find ourselves peering through a running but empty tank.

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All is on hold until The Inspection.
………………………………………..

<Later> Ehehehehehe! Just to mess with the human female a little bit more, I suggested to the Animal Use Committee that they did not, in fact, need to come back out for an inspection, thus negating at least six memos, four emails, and three phone calls. Verdict overthrown! Green light for fish! Confusion reigns.

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p.s.  The apothecary bottles are STILL HERE.

Is it a treat with a toy surprise or a toy with a tasty delivery system?

The human female, using a logic that is logical only to her, is preparing for Lent and getting rid of all the fattening sweets in the house… by eating them.

Marzipan, “that heavenly almondy treat,” is a particular favorite. Apparently it is like modeling clay and can be formed into any shape. She has a few fruit-shaped pieces left from Yule. I’d like it on the record that she did NOT share any with me.

Originally, there were some pieces shaped like strawberries, and those come with little plastic leaf-stem pieces (which she is just barely smart enough not to eat.)

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They make fine spinning tops. Sadly, the marzipan peaches, oranges, and whatever-the-greeny-yellow-things-are do not have them.

So, neener neener neener, human female, to Hel with all of your table manners rules. We are TOO going to play with food!

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A Midgardian custom of which I approve

Last year, my celebration of the Midgardian feast of love and romance did not go very well. I swore never to participate again. This year–Oh, this year I am celebrating with my beloved Sigyn and I couldn’t be happier.

It is customary to dine out with one’s partner on this day, so I have brought Sigyn to one of the town’s nicest restaurants. We had a nice ride over here. (I like it when Sigyn rides pillion–it’s a ride with a built-in hug!) There was rather a wait to be seated, but a well-placed glower convinced the hostess to move us to the front of the line. (I told her Sleipnir was a service animal.) Now we are perusing the menu.

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I shall order the Straw and Hay for Sleipnir (without the prosciutto.) Sigyn, of course, zeroed in on the Red Fish. I think I will try the Poblano Mac and Cheese, because I am given to understand that, like a certain god I know, poblano peppers are green and spicy.

While we wait for our meal, we can practice our rock-climbing skills on the brickwork…

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…and play hide-and-seek with the tableware. Sigyn, I don’t think the water carafe is as opaque as you think it is.

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Nor is the candle holder.

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Dearest, come out of there. The waiter wants to light the candle.

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This is so romantic. The food is delicious, and the company couldn’t be more charming. Even Sleipnir is behaving beautifully.

There is always room for gelato!

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Happy Valentine’s Day, my love!

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Third time’s the charm

Today is Friday the 13th, a day the Midgardians seem to regard as unlucky.

So as not to leave them disappointed when catastrophes do not occur and they have nothing of which to complain (complaining is their favorite pastime), I have arranged for…

…wait for it…

…can you guess?

….the lab sink is gushing again and can’t be turned off! Ehehehehehehe!

No picture, because you know by now what that much wasted water looks like.

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p.s.  the apothecary bottles are STILL HERE

The Human Female is Aging

The human female is aging. For some reason, she has acquired gray hairs more and more quickly since about December of 2013. At this rate, merchants will start offering her the Senior Discount any day now.

Sigyn has insisted that we mark her birthday with a small gift. I suggested something lovingly made with toothpicks and the contents of the dryer’s lint screen, but Sigyn would have none of it. Instead, she has found this unique deck of playing cards. I must admit that the human female, huge plant nerd that she is, will probably like them.

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To be honest, I think Sigyn is hoping the human female will play cards with her, just so she can look at all the flowers. Sigyn likes the eight of hearts best because, “The flowers have smiley faces.”

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I like these two. Because reasons.

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Sigyn thinks we should offer to play a game with the Birthday Crone. (“Girl” in nowise applies.) I concur, and, in keeping with the years of decrepitude she has attained, I have made everything ready for a game of

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FIFTY-TWO Pickup.

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p.s.  The apothecary bottles are STILL HERE

A February Walk, Part II: In which I am AVENGED

Seriously, why would the human female want to take stupid holly photos when we can do really interesting things like hunt for crawly things under loose bark on dead trees?

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I mean, isn’t she even a teensy bit curious as to what made these holes? And if anything is still in them?

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I think maybe I am just not interested in the same sort of nature that Sigyn and the human female are. However, I am not a complete botanical philistine–there are plants I like very much. Take this one, for example.

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It is just *loaded* with all of these delightfully wicked burrs. And their little hooked spines are quite reminiscent of my glorious helmet. The human female says that children call them "porcupine eggs." I have no idea what a porcupine is, but I’d like to see her sit on one of these things for a while and try to hatch it.

Or I could just, you know, fling a good handful at her sweater…

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Once she unsticks her elbow from her side and her braid from her sweater and teases out the five on her front, I bet she decides that it’s time to go home!

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p.s.  The apothecary bottles are still here.

A February Walk, Part I: In Which I am BORED.

After a whole string of gray/cold/wet days, it is finally sunny and almost warm today. Predictably, the human female and Sigyn have leaped at the chance to go out and poke at plants and get some "exercise." (Can you even call it "exercise" if you stop every ten feet to peer at green stuff?)

See? We haven’t gone half a block and Sigyn is making little "squee" noises about this "cute" little chickweed.

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What’s that? The five deeply-notched petals look like bunny ears? If you say so, sweetie.

Oh, super. Now we are sitting in another holly tree. Sigyn, don’t you ever get tired of sitting in holly trees? What? This one is different because it’s deciduous and not a yaupon holly? Dearest, one pokey, red-fruited tree is much like any other pokey, red-fruited tree. I think I will use a little magic on the camera so it doesn’t focus properly.

Ha! Over-exposed:

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The human female is trying another shot from a different angle.

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Still nope! Ehehehehe! Blurrrrrrr! Ehehehehe! Also, I am deeply amused by the fact that she is getting more than a little shredded by a nasty little seedling hawthorn as she scrunches down to try to capture a good likeness. Give up, mortal. I can keep this up far longer than you can.

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