Month: February 2015

Anything worth doing is worth doing twice.

The human female was looking forward to a peaceful afternoon of editing. Ha! I have other plans.

Gushing faucet encore!

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A little craft project

Sigyn has invited some friends and acquaintances over to work on a craft project. I don’t really trust all of these folks yet, but I will go along, since it is for a good cause.

The paper and crayons have come out. Is anyone surprised that Sigyn has chosen red?

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I am predictable as well.

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The others have their own preferences.

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Accidents happen.

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All done! Everyone smile!

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Happy Birthday to the human female’s mother! You can leave felicitations for her in the comments.

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They’re still heeeeeeere…

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Memos have been flying thick and fast between the vendor and the accounting people, but my magic is stronger than email!

Although it appears that all five cases of apothecary bottles were indeed paid for, the human female has yet to receive the call tags that will allow her to ship the unwanted bottles back and receive a refund. They’ve been sent three times already! Ehehehehe!

I made the first batch disappear. The second batch I sent to Peru. The third batch I changed up a little bit and send to some random stranger, who will find that he is authorized to return an ugly tie to a Walmart in Peoria, Illinois.

The original order was placed on May 22, 2014.This has been going on long enough to grow a human! Though the human female is childless, she has now experienced the joys of parenthood. The order was conceived in faith and hope, carefully planned for, and eagerly awaited. She made preparations to welcome and house the bottles. When they finally arrived, they proved to be more than she expected, as well as more time-consuming and expensive. They take up a lot of room, occupy a good proportion of her time and energy, and are more than a little annoying. Still, they are cute and round, and someday they will be useful.

But not this day.

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A Most Delectable Day

For some reason, there are a lot of Midgardians with birthdays in February. (What do they get up to in May??) As it happens, my birthday also falls in this month, if reckoned by the Midgardian calendar. Today, in fact.

Sigyn has made me a birthday cake, with her own pretty little hands. It looks…er… scrumptious, darling–thank you!

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Oh. Sigyn says that it is supposed to look like that. The brown bits are a tasty crumb topping. Fair enough. I’ve nothing against tasty crumbs.

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Ooo! It also has a jammy blood-red filling! It quite looks as if I’ve butchered the poor pastry. Sigyn is so cute when she pretends to be horrified.

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Mmmm. Messy, but good. Thank you, dearest. You certainly know what I like.

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I just hope I can keep the greedy human female from inhaling the remainder.

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Glip, glorp, gleeble, durp…Whoosh!

I have not been idle on the mischief front while conducting henchperson interviews. The human female is an Aquarius, and I’ve been trying to make sure her troubles are appropriately water-themed.

Do you see this?

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That is a dripping faucet in one of the teaching labs. A most persistently dripping faucet. It was supposedly fixed last summer, when it was discovered that it had been running steadily for so long that there was a sort of green copper-salts stalactite hanging from it, thanks to the lovely local tap water. It was supposedly fixed again last week, when it was found to be wasting gallons and gallons once more. The human female even received a chipper little, “Your work order is now complete–how did we do?” note from the maintenance folks. Work order number three is now in place. We’ll see who goes mad first, the human female or the plumbers. I can play this game indefinitely.

See this?

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That is a GUSHING faucet! (I’m not in the photo because I didn’t want to get my cape wet.) I’ve been tinkering with this one, in a different lab room, for quite some time now. It’s malfunctioned before. The other day I thought it would be funny if the students couldn’t get it to shut off. Then I thought it would be even funnier if they could shut it off but it would start up again all by itself during the teaching assistant’s presentation. I’ve got it leaking around the base and dripping down inside the cabinet as well. Prep staff has had to get a giant whopper bucket for that.

There’s a call into maintenance. There’s a betting pool as to when it will actually be fixed. Want a square?

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p.s.  The apothecary bottles are still here…

Walkies!

Christmas means eating, and there are still holiday goodies in the freezer. New Years means a lot of champagne. The January trip to visit friends out of town involved non-stop snackage. More recently, the annual battle of helmeted and padded warriors chasing a bit of inflated pig hide was accompanied by the annual glut of dubious comestibles. Plus, there are the deprivations of something called Lent to make up for ahead of time.

What with all of the above, the human female has accumulated an excess of avoir du pois. “Doughy,” I believe, is the word I’m looking for.

Her bouts of self-improvement rarely last long, but for the moment she’s quite serious about exercise. Here she is puffing along on the treadmill.

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Stands to reason that if 3 miles per hour is a good brisk walking pace, making her trot at 25 mph will burn through the blubber that much faster. Vroom!

Oh, and running on an incline is good for the quads…

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45 degrees ought to do it.

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Help Wanted, Part X: An Unexpected Ninth Encounter

Hiring minions has turned out to be much harder than I thought. I think I will just keep some of the applicants’ contact info on file and call them up if and when I need help on a project. It’s nice to be finished with all the interviews, isn’t it Sigyn?

Odin’s eyepatch! Someone’s at the door? I was hoping for some peace and quiet.

I don’t recognize the fellow, but I have a bad feeling about this…

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"You are not a fellow Dalek! Exterminate!"

"Stop right there, you bucket of bolts! I am a god! One more inch and you will be the one exterminated!"

"Exterminate!"

"You and what army?"

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"Oh . Sigyn–stick close!"

"Loki, The red one is coming at me! Do something!"

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"Keep your eye on it, and watch out for the plunger while I summon my magic!"

"Loki! I…It isn’t acting as angry as the others. I…I think it might want to be friends…"

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"No, Sigyn! Don’t trust it!"

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"Sigyn, hit the floor! NOW!"

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Yes! That was brilliant!

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When all of those evil pepper-mills powered up to fire, I quickly calculated that they were positioned in such a way as to very neatly shoot one another. They may be part of some merciless, implacable hive mind, but it’s a feeble, stupid little hive mind.

I think I’ll call that crazy raccoon back up and see what he’ll pay for some of these parts.

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