Month: February 2015

Well, damn.

First there was today’s mail.

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Not only did my application come back, I read this in today’s paper:

http://www.kbtx.com/home/headlines/Sole-Finalist-for-Texas-AM-President-Chosen-Texas-Tribune-Sources-Say-290675751.html

That’s quite a resume. Chock full of degrees and honors and hoity-toity accomplishments.

All well and good, but how does he look in horns and a cape?

>|: [

Help Wanted, Part VII: The Sixth Interview

I received the oddest note this yesterday, written on a thick, expensive paper.. It began legibly enough, but by the bottom of the page, the penmanship had taken a decided turn for the worse.

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The bottom margin looked decidedly chewed. Intrigued, I answered the letter and arranged a meeting for this morning.

Ah, here is my guest now. Dapper fellow, to be sure.

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…………………………………….


Loki: Good morning. Mr. Hyde?

Guest: Dr. Jekyll, actually. Mr. Hyde is my… associate. He sometimes handles my correspondence.

Loki: Ah. Which one of you is applying for the position?

Dr. Jekyll: Both. We come as a bit of a set.

Loki: I see. Well, I have no objections to an amanuensis. What is your particular expertise, Doctor?

Dr. Jekyll: Chemistry. Biochemistry. Biology and physics. Psychology–abnormal psychology is a bit of a hobby of mine.

Loki: Fascinating. Um. What’s with the flask? I’ve seen quite a few flasks this week.

Dr. Jekyll: It’s a special formula of mine. Arf! I have been experimenting with a mixture that will grrrrrrant me a deeper insight into the working of the darker recesses of the inhuman mind.

Loki: Inhuman? Uh, Dr. Jekyll, are you all right? Can I get you a drink of water or something?

Dr. Jekyll: Please, call me Edward. Hnnnghah!

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Sigyn: Loki? Is someone here? Eeek!

Loki: Sigyn! Get back!

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Loki: Doctor Mister Jekyll-Hyde, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Capricious I may be, but I do require some stability in my employees.

Hyde: <twitch> Arf! VEry wELl Our PAths mAy croSs agAiN, SirrrRRrrr.

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…………………………….

Phew! That was close! Is it wrong of me to hope he runs into Bob, the two of them end up being chums, and they sit up until the wee hours one night doing shots of each other’s potions?

>|: [

Help Wanted, Part VI: The Fifth Interview

I have learned my lesson! When the second of today’s candidates shows up, I will make sure to look through the peephole first. Oh. My. Word. What I am seeing is so strange that I have to open the door for a better look. What am to make of this?

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And now, without so much as a “by your leave,” this…critter… is poking through the remains of the X-53! Cue recorder!

…………………………………………..

Raccoon: “Hey, I’m gonna need this guy’s leg. And maybe an arm.”

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Loki: And just who are you?

Raccoon: Name’s Rocket. Heard you were looking for some help. Got any projects in mind?

Loki: Not at this precise moment. But– Hey! Stop tinkering with that and pay attention.

Rocket: Oh, okay. Yeah? What do you wanna know?

Loki: You could start by telling me about your skills. How could you be useful to me?

Sigyn: <giggles>

Rocket: Best pilot you’ll ever meet. Weapons expert. Escape artist. There isn’t the jail that can hold me. I specialize in jobs that need a little extra…creativity.

Loki: Interesting. I assume you have references? What about your most recent employment?

Rocket: Well, I been hanging around with this Quill guy. Starlord, they call him. Guy named Drax. Green girl named Gamora.

Sigyn: <giggling>

Loki: Gamora?

Rocket: Yeah. You know her? Adopted daughter of Thanos, but–

Loki: Thanos?!

Rocket: Yeah, but–

Loki: This interview is over. Leave. NOW.

Rocket: Hey! Wait! Wait. Keep your horns on. Sure, she’s Thanos’ daughter, but she don’t work for him no more. Believe me, I got nothing to do with that crazy purple dude.

Loki: I hope for your sake that is true—Sigyn, what are you doing?

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Rocket: Ah, that’s just Groot.

(Loki: “Groot”? There’s a talking raccoon that knows bloody Thanos in my house, with a potted twig he calls “Groot”… Could this day be any more surreal?)

Rocket: Groot’s all right. He’s a little on the small side right now, but give him a year or two and he’ll be back to his big old self.

Sigyn: <giggles>

Loki: Sigyn, what are you doing?

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Sigyn: We’re just having a little dance.

Loki: Sigh. Look, Rocket, Groot, whatever. I’m not sure this is going to work out.

Rocket: Yeah, I was getting that.

Loki: Maybe some other time? I’ve got your contact info if…

Rocket: Don’t call me, buddy, I’ll call you.

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Sigyn: Bye!

………………………………..

Is it me? I place a simple help wanted ad and all the weirdos in the galaxy show up. Is there something in me that just calls to fruitcakes? >|: [

(ed. note: Sorry for the brief but egregious Guardians of the Galaxy crossover. Wait. No, I’m not.)