Day: April 2, 2015

Mischief Update

While Sigyn and the human female dither about what color to make the eggs, I will note progress on my campaign to turn the human female into a babbling idiot. Mischief level: 5 out of 10.

1. Glassware. I tried. I really did, but the glassware vendor finally came through with the refund for the apothecary bottles. I was hoping I could stretch that prank out for a whole year, but I only managed 315 days. Note to self: Try harder.

2. Plumbing. No new leaks to report, but my work with the lab and office temperature controls is bearing a lot of fruit. The humans have caught wise to the fact that the thermostats on the wall are essentially decoys and that the displayed temperature is only an approximation, but I keep arranging little surprises. One week there was no hot water and the growth room dipped to just above 60F, which the plants and animals did not care for. This week two of the water pumps that supply chilled water went out at the same time, so the inside temperature went from bearable to “shuck-all-clothing” over the space of about two hours. The humans opened some windows and got to enjoy the record pollen count and some construction noise.

3. Pollen! Pollen everywhere! I have encouraged the trees that overhand the humans’ various parking spaces at work and at home to be extra prolific this spring, so their blue vehicles are now green. Birds have added some white dots, and the whole effect is very avant garde. (That is a Midgardian term meaning “disturbing and unpleasant to view.”)

4. The cat and I have figured out that 2:40 a.m. is the perfect time for a howl-and-prowl, especially if it is followed by hairball-harfing at 4:45 a.m. At that point, it pretty much does not pay to go back to sleep.

5. I also have a little project under development having to do with medical bills and insurance claims. I’m hoping to add hypertension and stress migraines to the human female’s other physical ailments.

Piddling stuff, I know, but it all adds up.

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Eggs of the East, Part I: What are we doing and *why* are we doing it?

Last year, I was introduced to the confusing Midgardian festival of candy chickens, ravenous rabbits, and pastel colors. I never did figure it out completely. The humans are gearing up for it again, and today the female proposes to do something entirely incomprehensible– take perfectly serviceable white eggs and dye them all sorts of unnatural colors.

I thought it was an insanity peculiar to her, but apparently not–there are kits for this madness!

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What in the name of Fandral’s mustache wax is that manic duck doing, and what does the egg smell??

Sigyn, I can tell…you want to try this, don’t you? Sigh. Very well. We shall participate. Can you figure out what all of this equipment is meant to do?

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Oh, for pity’s sake. Even the human female’s mugs are all rabbits and flowers…

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Why do we need so many drinking vessels anyway? I am certainly not going to drink the vinegar she has set out!

One of the cups has a cow. So Sigyn is mooing. Of course.

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Ah. The cups are for the dye. Careful, dearest, don’t fall in!

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The human female has boiled a collection of eggs. Look at all those blank faces. Just like Thor when you ask him a question using words of more than one syllable.

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Maybe someday we’ll actually get to the egg-coloring. You know, before I die of boredom…

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