A Perilous Expedition, Part III: Flirting with Blasphemy

The next pocket of the human female’s backpack is larger, which means more strange and inexplicable things will fit in it.

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This zipper doesn’t have a fancy canvas pull. But I’m happy to take the metal one. Or better yet, I’ll bend a few of the zipper teeth so that the pull just slides back and forth, back and forth, without zipping or unzipping anything. Did you know that luggage repairmen call that "Zipper Disease?" It’s true! (Would I lie?)

Let’s see what’s inside. Disgraceful! I can’t even have a proper look until I remove some crumpled brown paper towel and a single stray tissue.

towel%2Bnapkin1.jpg
towel%2Bnapkin2.jpg

Hairbrush. Useful for making the human female slightly more presentable, though I fear one cannot expect miracles. Your years are catching up with you, mortal! (There are many gray hairs tangled in the bristles.) I find other persons’ grooming tools to be distasteful, so I will press onward.

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Ah. This corner is better. Hmm. I have found some curiously snail-like beads in a little blue pouch.

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I… I think I will not meddle with this.

Moving on. I recognize this. It’s for examining very small things.

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Like the human female’s logical faculties. I mean, look at this. Does this make any sense?

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Yes, my friends, that is an eraser—and a permanent marker. I think perhaps no one has explained to her in tiny, simple words of one syllable what "indelible" means.

And –eew!–another paper handkerchief. This one is slightly used. That is just nasty. The whole point of those things, mortal, is that they are disposable.

What is the purpose of that blue ribbon? Ah, it is the tether for something Very Important.

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No doubt that this is the storage device for all of her important photos and stories and correspondence. Probably the only copy of some things. (Backing up her files is like flossing–she’s long on preach and short on practice.) She’d feel just awful if something happened to it. My, what a… slender little cable it has. Trivia: St. Zita is the Patron Saint of lost keys. I wonder if she is in charge of lost thumb drives also, or will the human female have to appeal to the He of the curiously snail-like beads in the little blue pouch?

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