Day: May 9, 2015

A Perilous Expedition, Part VI: Is There No End?

I have reached the final compartment, but there is still much territory there to cover. Do you see that brightly colored fabric object behind the eggshell from Sigyn’s monstrous avian friend? (Why is that even still around?!)


That garish item is the human female’s impractically tiny shoulder bag. When she can be induced to leave the backpack Mothership full of clutter behind, she will take this small Escape Pod with just the bare essentials. I shall explore.


Oh, dear. She has had this purse so long that the lining has quite given up. You can see that she has mended it once already and that her stitches have pulled away. All sorts of things could slip down between the lining and the outer wall. I think…yes…this important receipt, which has not yet been recorded in the checkbook, will just fit through that slit. She will look for it for days, and she and the human male will blame one another for losing it carelessly. Their quarrels are always amusing. What else is here?

Hmm. A few dollars in paper currency. What ghastly old men on Midgardian money! When I rule the planet, my face will grace all the bills and it will be glorious.

A reminder for a dentist appointment which she did, in fact, forget. The receptionist had to call her and nudge her along. (I am still having nightmares about that misadventure!)


A few coins.


It is a lot of work, always making sure she is about ten cents short of having the price for one of her loathsome snacks from the vending machine, but it’s one of my favorite activities. I save up, and when we have enough quarters and nickels, Sigyn and I go see a movie.

The purse has a number of small pockets, mostly full of card-like objects. I see the ones she makes purchases with. She has marked them all “ask for photo ID,” to keep me from using them at the local merchants, but I can occasionally sneak in an online purchase or two. I have also earned some extra income by selling her account numbers and security codes to some friendly fellows I “met” in a Russian chat room.

Here are two cards I haven’t seen before.


I believe they are what the Midgardians call “shopper-loyalty cards.” The black one is from a local Burritotorium. I have heard that the food is good. I shall hang onto this and take Sigyn there sometime soon.

What’s this in the last little pocket? Oh. Voter registration. Marvelous. Someone lets her have a say in who runs the country. That thought would keep me up at night, but in truth, it does not matter overmuch, because before long *I* will rule the entire planet.


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