A Perilous Expedition, Part VIII: I can’t even.

We are nearing the end of this foray into the unknown, and I have saved some of the more bewildering objects to show you. Why she has any of this, I could not begin to tell you.

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Memories of lunches past? Mercifully, both are clean. She really does need to tackle the recycling!

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An empty plastic shopping bag. Why? Perhaps something else that should have been recycled?

There is a pachydermic slogan button.

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And a rubber fish. Why?

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I’ve heard she keeps a huge rubber bug, too, but I have not found it.

Here is a spring-loaded… thingy. It’s either something for holding papers together or another fiendish exercise device. Neither one belongs just loose in a backpack.

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I think I will clip it on the last few hairs of the cat’s tail while she sleeps.

And this! What…? I can’t even…

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It is a miniature candy container, empty, and carefully placed inside it is a small brick of dense black felt. I defy you to come up with a scenario for which this makes an iota of sense.

And this?

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Explain to me… Oh, wait. Just the other day she tossed out clickable pen that had lost its click. Found: one click. Note the icky little fibers caught in the end. This whole backpack is toxic. Suddenly I am wondering if my tetanus shot is up to date. Have I ever had a tetanus shot?! Do Jotuns even get tetanus??!!

There’s only one more region of this backpack of horrors to explore. Next: The Very Depths.

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