A Perilous Expedition, Part VIII: I can’t even.

We are nearing the end of this foray into the unknown, and I have saved some of the more bewildering objects to show you. Why she has any of this, I could not begin to tell you.


Memories of lunches past? Mercifully, both are clean. She really does need to tackle the recycling!


An empty plastic shopping bag. Why? Perhaps something else that should have been recycled?

There is a pachydermic slogan button.


And a rubber fish. Why?


I’ve heard she keeps a huge rubber bug, too, but I have not found it.

Here is a spring-loaded… thingy. It’s either something for holding papers together or another fiendish exercise device. Neither one belongs just loose in a backpack.


I think I will clip it on the last few hairs of the cat’s tail while she sleeps.

And this! What…? I can’t even…


It is a miniature candy container, empty, and carefully placed inside it is a small brick of dense black felt. I defy you to come up with a scenario for which this makes an iota of sense.

And this?


Explain to me… Oh, wait. Just the other day she tossed out clickable pen that had lost its click. Found: one click. Note the icky little fibers caught in the end. This whole backpack is toxic. Suddenly I am wondering if my tetanus shot is up to date. Have I ever had a tetanus shot?! Do Jotuns even get tetanus??!!

There’s only one more region of this backpack of horrors to explore. Next: The Very Depths.

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