Day: May 28, 2015

Mischief in Houston, Part IV: People Really Eat These?

The human female is quite disappointed that the apple display contains no varieties she has not yet tried. Apparently, ‘Lemonade’ and ‘Smitten’ are not fancy enough for her. Snob.

She and her friends have wandered into the Exotic and Bizarre section of the produce offerings. I will admit there are things here with which I am totally unfamiliar.

Let us see what we have…


No, Sigyn, I don’t think these are real. I have seen eagles’ eggs, and they do NOT look like this. You would NOT get an eagle if you incubated one of these, but you might get jam. Some produce clerk is having a joke at the customers’ expense. I shall complain to the management.


Likewise, these dragonfruit will hatch no dragons. But they are intriguing because they have pointy bits. The human female says that they can be either pink or white inside but that they do not taste like much. Pity. They are quite decorative.

On the other hand, these tamarillos are supposed to have plenty of flavor. Sigyn says they are most photogenic. I concur.


The human female is telling her friend that she once tried the merest taste of one and immediately gagged. (I suspect the fault is in her tastebuds.) Sliced, I imagine they would look very much like the roma tomatoes the human female puts in her sandwiches. That gives me a good idea…

Whoa. Sigyn, what have you got over there?


Bumpy and red–aren’t those funny? Oh, yes. I have heard of these. This is a plant that cannot make up its mind about its own name. Litchi, Lychee, Leechee, Lichee, Lichi… They should just call them “eyeball fruit,” because that is what they look like if you remove the leathery peel. White, translucent, slimy, and with a dark, pupilly seed. Tasty, but I do not think I wish my fruit salad to stare back at me.

These fruits are even weirder. All hail Sigyn, Queen of the Furry Rambutans!


Trust the human female to bungle the one photo I really wanted.

While Sigyn is petting and talking to the red fruits, I shall see if there is anything that says, “Loki.”


I do not know what a Feijoa may be, but if nothing else, they are a good color.

Aha! Forget feijoas, I have Found My Fruit!!!


They are horned and spiky and hideously expensive and beautiful — and they are sneakily green on the inside.  I shall command the human female to put down the quinces she is dithering over and buy some of these so that we may have glorious spiky fruit sauce!

Beloved, I think we should be moving on. The produce manager has failed to stump the human female today — she recognizes everything displayed and is being insufferable about it.  Let us go see if the food court is handing out samples.

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