That Loud Noise You Hear

Is the human female banging her head against her desk.

You will recall that she has had frustrating dealings with the Squiggly Things Vendor before, on multiple occasions. I have had so much fun orchestrating those contretemps that I went so far as to suborn the packers and shippers at Squiggly Things, Inc. They work for me now, and take every opportunity to get creative with her purchases.

Behold, a section of the P.O. on a recent purchase:


Note that a) she has requested next day air shipping for all the fragile little squigglies in this order, and b) she has a coupon. This coupon was issued by the Squiggly Thing Vendor along with an apology note because they goofed up the last order.

Yesterday she received notice that the order had shipped. That should not happen until today. She quickly double-checked with the freight carrier and, yes indeed, all the squigglies have been sent 2-day air:


It is officially warm in Texas now, and squigglies languish if kept too long in transit. This is why her To-Do list includes, "Call Squiggly Things, Inc and scream at Danny" (the account rep), and why the latest little apology note from Squiggly Things, Inc. now bears an expressive little doodle of a warty, frowny, beady-eyed, snaggle-toothed frustration monster.


The other noise you hear is me humming, "What a Difference a Day Makes."


Now that I think about it, she should THANK me. She has received so many Coupons of Apology and Savings Offers for Valued and Offended Customers that she is probably coming out ahead.

>|: [

p.s.  In other news, she is dealing with a national shortage of…preserved cats.  Here, kitty, kitty.


  1. Loki, have you been playing around my office? They installed a new fridge for sodas but it doesn’t close properly unless you actually push the door closed. Otherwise it stays open about half an inch. Now there are big signs reminding people to close the door. And yet, every time I walk in there the door is open half an inch. Did you decide to expand beyond the human female’s workplace?

    1. Do not cast your eyes in my direction. I have quite enough on my plate annoying my own humans. You must be infested by someone else. Although, as a Jotun, I have an affinity for cold things and could be induced to examine your fridge for defects–for a price.

  2. It always pays to do one’s research. You might begin with a suitable tome such as this one: Some entities are hard to suss out. Others are more obvious. If your Dr. Pepepr is missing or flat, you may be dealing with an Incubus. If it’s Big Red which is affected, look to the Bean Sidhe. The Lesser Kobold is known to prefer colas. If your drinks are unmolested, it may be that your fridge has incurred the wrath of a golem and is destined for destruction. Or your coworkers may be lazy gits.

  3. Well, we do seem to be a bit short on Dr. Pepper….thanks for the help. Sadly, it is most likely that my coworkers are lazy gits.

  4. Okay Loki! Now all of the sodas have gone missing from the fridge and are not in either of the other two fridges in the breakroom. I cry UNCLE! #Bringbackoursodas

    1. Keeping track of your drinkables is beneath me. When things go missing, I find that it is usually the help that is pilfering. Who cleans the breakroom?

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