Mischief Update

The summer university term has begun, and ordering for fall has commenced. Still, things are fairly quiet. Mischief Level: 4.

Highlights this week:

Monday: The human female started ordering Dead Things. I delayed an important email, so a very nice 11% off coupon good on the human female’s order of 16 preserved hagfish showed up the day AFTER she submitted the order.

Tuesday: I arranged for the water in all the sinks in all the women’s restrooms in the building to be cut off without warning. On the first day of the semester. Getting it back on again was a three-call finagle for the human female. I always enjoy it when she has to deal with outsourced maintenance.

Wednesday: On the first day of labs, the floor stripping and waxing was still not done. No, ehehehe, I don’t know who told the custodial crew they could take as long as they needed with the lab rooms. and put all the lab equipment out in the hallway. As of today, it’s still not all done. The labs look great, but the hallway is stripped. It’s hard to wax hallways when there are students swarming about. The crew will finish tonight or Monday. I’ll see to it that they put everything back in place just a bit before it’s dry, so that furniture sticks to the floor. (The best part about all of this was that the human female got chewed out for end-running around the building proctor to get the labs seen to….)

Thursday: The same construction crew that cut the water off parked in a string of 24 hour reserved faculty and staff spaces. Including the human female’s. The contractors swore they were told they could park there. Can I help it if I sound just like their supervisor on the telephone? More fun with the building proctor!

Friday: (This is my favorite!) I nudged the human female’s finger as she was selecting a vendor for another order of Dead Things. I will be teleporting out of state to go see the faces on the good people in the order fulfillment department of the Nebraska Book Company as they try to figure out what they are supposed to do with an order for a pail of 760 pig intestinal roundworms, male only. "A pail of plenty porcine parasites, pronto!" Say that three times fast!

On the home front, the feline is being treated for a malfunctioning thyroid. The medicine had some unexpected side effects. It now appears the humans have a choice. They can have a thin, unmedicated, prowling, yowling cranky termagant who keeps them up all night OR a pitiful, medicated, subdued, puddingbeast with no sense of balance, who wobbles when she walks, falls off the sofa, and topples over trying to wash. None of this is my doing, but when the cat feels ill, I do enjoy directing her to Things Which Should Not Be Barfed Upon, which is how the floor, the sofa throw, the bed quilt (thrice!) and the human male’s laptop all got a good wash.

On second thought, this week’s at least a Six.

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