Month: July 2015

Sigyn has visitors. (Sigyn speaks)

I hate not knowing what is going on, or whether Loki is safe, or—

“Arrr. On your fEet, girrrl.”

“What do you want? What does Evil Lo–What does your master want with me?”


“He’ll let yoU know soOn enough. Arf! Just remeMber: MiNd your mannerrrs when yoU talk to him, if you know what’s good for yoooo…”


Please let Loki be all right. Please let Loki be all right. Please let Loki be all right. Please let Loki be looking for me…

“How are you enjoying the accommodations? Are my associates treating you well?”

“I am just fine, thank you. But when my Loki comes for me, I will be very glad to leave. And you’ll be sorry.”


“When ‘your’ Loki comes, he will fall into my trap. I have a few little surprises for him. Then there will be only one of us. Look, he and I are the same, you know. Only I am more powerful than he will ever be. Why not side with the Loki who can give you everything you desire? I want a beautiful woman at my side. I’m giving you a choice: Swear fealty to me now, or regret it later. Once I’m ruling Midgard, I may not be as generous.”

“I will never betray my Loki!”

“Have it your way, my dear. I shall leave you to ponder your fate. Fisi, keep an eye on her.”



Oh, Loki, where are you?

: (

Gathering More Help

Anyone who knows me knows that I hate to ask for help, but Sigyn is missing and I’m frantic and someone has to know where she is and…

Focus, Loki. Keep looking. Think. Who are her other friends?

There’s, um, that flaky doctor and his simian sidekick. It couldn’t hurt to try him.


“Und ze centrifuge, Remus, mein Freunde. I must have one. Add that to your total, Bitte.”

“Herr Doktor, Guten Tag.”

“Loki, and assorted others! Guten Tag! Herr Clown und Herr Schneemann I know, but who is the so pretty Fraulein Kätzchen?”

“This is Muffy. Look, Doktor–”

“‘Arnold,’ Bitte.”

“Look, Arnold, have you seen Sigyn? She’s been missing since yesterday, and we can’t find her anywhere.”

“Nein. I have not seen your Liebchen. Remus? Hast Du sie gesehen? Nein? I am sorry, Herr Loki. But we do not know where she may be.”

“Will you help us look?”

“Ja, of course we help you. Remus, he helps me with the unplugging of certain devices, and then we go.”

“Danke, Arnold; Danke, Remus.”

I can think of one more person to ask.


“I hear you up there banging around. Don’t just stand there. Hand me the 5/8″ crescent wrench, will ya?”



“Oh, hey, Loki! What brings you here? Hey! Get that monkey out of my tools!”

Rocket, we’re looking for Sigyn. She’s missing. Have you seen her?”

“Nah, man. Me and Groot have been off doing some odd jobs, ya know? Haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Damn. No one knows where she is, and I’m getting really worried.”

“No kidding. Look, lemme finish this one little thing and then me and Groot’ll help you look.”

“Thanks. I have the horrible feeling we’re running out of time.”

>|: [


Loki, where are you? (Sigyn speaks)

Where is Loki? My Loki? For that matter, where am I?


That…that evil impostor did some sort of spell. Now I don’t even know where I am. It looks–and smells–like some sort of abandoned warehouse. The chains are unbreakable. I tried. I’ve looked and looked and I can’t find a way out.

I don’t even know what day it is. I think this is the second day I’ve been here. There was some stew, but it’s gone now, and there is just some stale bread and water.

There are rats.

What does Evil Loki want with me? What is he going to do to my Loki?

I’ve never been so scared in my life.

Loki, if you can hear me, please come and rescue me. But be careful…I’m pretty sure this is a trap, and I’m the bait.

: (

Still looking.

I’m glad to have Muffy’s reassuring presence as I keep searching for Sigyn. I’m trying to keep calm and think clearly. Where might she go? She’s fond of Yelp and Benno. Maybe she stopped in to see them?

"Hello! We’re looking for Sigyn–have you seen her?"


"होइन, हामी उनको देखेको छैन। तपाईं यस स्वादिष्ट चिसो मिठाई बाँड्न चाहनुहुन्छ?"

I do not always understand Yelp, but Benno is shaking his head "No", so I guess she hasn’t been here.

"I’m starting to think something may have happened to her. We could use your help looking–will you join us?"

"पक्कै पनि। साना हँसिला लाल केटी हामीलाई प्रिय छ।"

There’s a coldness in the pit of my stomach that has nothing to do with my taste of Yelp’s ice cream.

>|: [

Earlier That Same Day.

There she is. What is she reading? It is a picture book, and the illustrations are perfectly ridiculous. She’s pretty enough, but she shouldn’t linger by the mailbox, waiting for that invitation letter from Mensa.


"Hello, Loki. It’s good to see you! I wasn’t expecting to see you before our picnic today."

"Picnic? Oh, um, yes, the picnic. There’s been a change of plans."


"Oh. Okay. Did you want to do something else?"

"Yes, Sigyn. If you’ll just come with me, I have a big surprise for you."


"Please slow down, Loki! I can’t keep up. Say, your cape looks much darker than usual today. Is it new? It looks good."

"What? Oh, yes. It’s new. Now hurry up."

"And your armor looks extra shiny today. You’re very handsome."

"Sigyn, will you please stop babbling and just move?"

"Loki, why are you being so mean? Did I do something to… Oh!"


"You’re not Loki! Where is he?! Who are you and where is my Loki?!"

"Your witless god of mischief should keep better track of his horticultural experiments. I am absolutely as much Loki as he is. But Midgard isn’t big enough for the two of us. And since he’s done such a pathetic job of ruling since he got here, it’s time for me to take things in hand. Starting with you. They say that behind every great man is a great woman. So, woman, get behind me and try to keep up."

"No! I’m not coming with you!"

"My friends and I think that you are. Now move."


] :|<

The Girls in the Book Club

I found the member list for Sigyn’s book club. There’s a Roberta who doesn’t live too far from here. I will pay her a visit.

Oh. Oh, no. Please tell me it’s not that Roberta.


“Good afternoon, Roberta, perhaps you remember–”

“Call me ‘Bob.’ Hey, Lokes, what brings you to my neck of the woods?”

“I am looking for Sigyn. Have you seen her today?”

“Nope, sure haven’t. I’ve been working on this all day and haven’t seen anyone but Your Antlerness.”

“Oh. Hmm. Has she mentioned anything to you about today?”


“What? No. Not that I can think of. Look, I’d love to help, but I’m pretty busy here. If you stick around, you’ll have to put on gloves and goggles and help.”

“As much fun as I’m sure that would be, I will have to decline. I must find Sigyn.”

“Right-oh. Couldya close the door on your way out?”



Well, ‘Bob’ was certainly useless. Perhaps Muffy will know something. According to the list, she owns a business called “The Sugar Dojo.” What is that, some sort weird combination of bakery-and-martial-arts-studio? Ehehehe…



“Greetings, Muffy. Am I interrupting?”

“No, Loki. Just pondering additions to my menu. What are you and Sigyn up to?”

“Oh, how I wish you had not said that. I am actually looking for Sigyn. You haven’t seen her?”

“No. What’s going on?”

“She was supposed to meet me for a picnic and didn’t show up. No one seems to know where she is.”


“I don’t like the sound of that. Let me send out a cancellation for this afternoon’s black-belt class real quick, and I’ll come with you to help you look.”

“Thank you. Sigyn is lucky to have a friend like you.”

“OK. Cancellation all Tweeted. Let’s roll.”

>|: [

[tags A Miscief of Loki’s, where is Sigyn, a more cooperative cat than the last. remind me not to tick this kitty off, Pow! have a cupcake, Loki, Lego Loki

A Visit to the Shrew-in-Law

Not having found Sigyn at home, I now find myself doing something that is always the bottom of my list of ways I’d like to spend an afternoon–visiting my sister-in-law. That is so bottom-of-the-list that it’s halfway down the next page.

(And would someone please make this bird quit following me? Shoo! Away, foul creature!)

Oh, joy. There is the pernicious biddy now, with one of her over-priced, foul-tempered nags.


You might recall that my April Fool’s joke from 2014 has proven to be one of the most durable bits of magic I’ve ever done, so I am not Gunnehilde’s favorite person either.


“Ho! My Lady Stubbleface! Where is my beloved Sigyn?”

“Run off with someone taller, smarter, better-looking, and less poisonous than you, if she has any sense.”

“Woman, do not anger me. She was supposed to meet you this morning, yes? What time did she leave your august company?”

“Well, Sir Pestilence Personified, she never showed up. Ordinarily, I’d say she was out giving candy to orphans, but since you’re involved, my money is on she’s scarpered and is probably in Mexico by now.”

“Faugh! You are no help. I will find her myself. Will you at least consent to mind this brainless avian while I search?”

“For Sigyn’s sake, I will. You get diddly-squat, favor-wise.”

“Contact me if you hear from her.”



Now I am really starting to worry. If she’s not with me or her sister, where could she be? I suppose I can check with the members of her book club. I think I know where she keeps the list… Back to the house.

>|: [

Never Expect Cooperation From Things with Fur or Feathers.

In my efforts to find Sigyn, home is the first place to check. Hmm. I don’t see Sigyn, or a note from Sigyn. The humans appear to be absent as well.

I shall have to question the lesser members of the household, beginning with Sigyn’s monstrous, bug-eyed bird. Marty? Have you seen Sigyn? Or, given your ophthalmic problems, two Sigyns?


Grr. Why am I asking him? After much patient instruction by Sigyn, the stupid beast knows but a single word, one which sounds unhelpfully like "Blark!" I’d say he has problems with the synapses in his brain, but that implies the possession of more than one neuron.

What about you, feline? Have you seen my beloved?



Ow! Bad kitty! Ow! Enough! I am a GOD you dull creature! Just for that, I will smite you with a hairball the size of Detroit.

Clearly, I am going to have to work a little higher up the vertebrate branch of the tree of life…

>|: [

Half a Picnic

Hooray! It’s just a smidge cooler today. Since we’ve spent so much time indoors recently, I thought a little outing would be fun. I sent Sigyn a sweet little note and invited her on a dessert picnic.


I had to visit three bakeries but I finally found this apple cake she likes so much, and I remembered her favorite mug. Well, all right, it’s my favorite mug because it has her cute smiling face on it. It reminds me of our first date.

I wonder what’s keeping her? It’s not like her to be late. She said she was going to visit her sister Gunnehilde (in whose beard may there be fleas) and then meet me here. Maybe that harridan has got her doing chores or is working overtime telling Sigyn how wrong I am for her… Or maybe Sigyn got distracted by flowers on the way. No, surely not my Sigyn! Or maybe she’s been having the same sort of day I have? This morning, I couldn’t find a matching pair of socks to save my life. It’s as if someone is sending mischief and chaos my way. Oh, well. I’m sure she’ll be along soon.


The cake just sits there, mocking me. I want it on the record that I’m being very good. I haven’t had so much as a nibble. She is terribly late now. I am beginning to worry. Sigyn, where are you?

Wait–is that her? No.


I have a bad feeling about this…

That’s it. I’m going to go look for her. I’ll leave a note for her here, and most likely we’ll miss each other in passing, or I’ll run into her on the way and we’ll laugh about it all.

A quick spell to keep anything from eating the apple cake without us, and I’m off.


>|: [