Loki Helps Around the House, Part VI: Excavating the Pantry

Ehehehehe.  I’ve got Gungnir back, so I’m in a good mood.  Just to show the human female that there are no hard feelings, I will take on a housekeeping task which was not even ON her original chore list.

So— I am cleaning out the pantry.  I know, I know, I had some fun in there not too long ago. But I have more ideas.

Ugh.  The humans have really managed to muck things up in just that short time.  Here it all is on the kitchen counter, waiting to be resorted and reshelved.

pantrycleaning

Sigyn is interested in the currants because she has not seen the humans actually use them for anything.  It’s just as well–“zante currants” in this part of Midgard are nothing more than little champagne grape raisins and not real currants at all.  Someone should sue.

Eeeew!  Look at what I found way in the back!

badpeaches

Now, I am not perfectly conversant with Midgardian food preservation techniques, but my gut says that when a can bulges out like that and weeps black ichor through its label, it is time to give the contents a very wide berth.  But if I discard the scary can and transfer the contents to a cute little blubberware container, I can put them in with the human female’s take-to-work lunch!  With any luck, she’ll shovel in a good mouthful before she knows what’s what.

They might pair well with these:

sardines

Sigyn, you probably don’t want to open that.  I mean, we don’t even know  for sure what is in there.  Is it steak?  Is it sardines?  Or is it herring?  Clearly, even the manufacturer does not know—and has further obfuscated the piscine mystery by drowning it in soy sauce and hot green chilies.  I’m trying to think of a foodstuff that sounds more vomitous, and failing utterly.

Wash it all down with a can of papaya or guanabana nectar and you’ve got a meal you will remember always.

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