The human female has received a mysterious box in the mail. Actually, it’s not completely mysterious, because she knows who it’s from, but she has no clue what’s inside. Come on, Sigyn, let’s help her open it!
Whatever is in here, it’s certainly well-packed. Let us dig in!
It would be easy to get sidetracked by the fun bubblewrap, but I want to know what’s inside!
The sender said it was something they’d had on hand for a while. Somehow I believe it.
Sigyn is enamored of the shiny red poinsettias, but I want to know what’s inside!
Aaauugh! Sigyn has been startled and frightened by the toothy skull on the back cover. What manner of book is this?
Ah. Now it makes sense. It’s an anthropology book! Fascinating. See, Sigyn? If it’s Science, it’s not scary.
You know, this poor fellow’s grin is on the whole a little bit less gruesome than the human female’s. Let’s have a look inside this tome.
More skulls! This is a GREAT book to read right before the upcoming Feast of All Hallows. I’m looking at Homo neanderthalensis. The heavy bone structure and low brow make me think that my block of a “brother,” Thor, and a number of other Asgardians I can think of might have a bit of ancient Midgardian DNA lurking in the gene pool.
Sigyn is studying Cro-Magnon Man. Evidently that particular hominid could shoot laser beams out of his eyes. I imagine that gave him a slight competitive edge…
Ah. Now it’s getting really good: weapons.
I’ve got the block something like Sigyn’s willow leaf point was chipped from. Crude weapons, but effective. Kind of like Mjolnir. I tell you, there really is something to this caveman/ Odinson connection. So we’re up to tools, what’s next in the annals of mortal accomplishments?
Ah. Petroglyphs. Sigyn is enthralled by the giraffe from Northern Africa. I think these cattle from Europe bear a striking resemblance to local barbecue restaurant signs and to the heraldic device of that other University down the road. Some things don’t change.
I can tell the human female is really going to enjoy reading this book, though I predict she will become even more insufferable. She brags about being able to trace her lineage to some fellow named Charlemagne. Now I am willing to wager that she’ll start name dropping much farther back down the family tree.
Sigyn, let us leave her to peruse this magnificent and unexpected very late (or perhaps very early!) Yule gift. One final peep. Look, Sigyn, it’s a stone tool from a place called Ethiopia, one of the very oldest known, some 2.3 million years.
But since I know the human female has a scar from where a fellow five-year-old lobbed a rock* at her noggin back in the Sandbox Era, I think we can safely say that there hasn’t exactly been a lot of progress in some areas of human development.