This year, the human female decided to inflict upon some friends and coworkers that insidious Midgardian entity known alternatively as Hermann or Amish Friendship Bread. Or as I like to call it, the Yeast Beast.
The starter is revolting. This must be a joke.
It has been frothing and bubbling on the counter for ten days, stirred and “fed” regularly and giving off miasmic whiffs of alcohol. Surely no good can come from this!
Today we are baking. Out come the the sugar and flour and oil and cinnamon and vanilla.
While the human female is stirring and covering every inch of the kitchen with gooey batter, I think I’ll just poke a little hole in the flour bag. That slow leak should provide amusement well into the new year!
Oh, no! This baking process has generated multiple baby containers of starter! They’ll be burping and fermenting and taking over kitchens all over town before you know it! Quick! Stop the madness! Cook it all before we’re outnumbered!
Well. I would not have believed that anything remotely edible could result from that nasty starter and all of that goopy batter. I’m not allowed to gouge out a taste, but the finished product smells pretty good! Guess the human female can’t screw up everything all the time!
Oh, now wait–what’s this? She’s made up a whole bowlful of something sticky and brown.
I heard her talking about making the human male’s favorite… Sigyn, do you suppose this is the larval stage of gingerbread? I do believe it is!
Sigyn is enjoying helping roll the little balls of dough. I prefer not to get my hands dirty.
However, I have no scruples about sampling the finished product. All in the name of quality control, of course.
By Volstagg’s monstrous belly! She’s not done yet?! She’s setting up to do something else.
How many carbohydrates does one household need?
Sigyn is shushing me, saying the dough needs its rest.
Naptime, Doughball! Sleep and grow fat.
Well, the dough has risen obediently and been smacked down for its trouble, and now the human female is making… something long and flat, apparently.
Brown sugar, cinnamon, almonds, and orange peel. Either this is the most unusual pizza ever, or we’re not done here yet.
All right. That makes more sense. It’s a breakfasty-ring thing. Very fancy! But we can’t eat it raw!
That’s more like it! Drizzle on some almond glaze and we feast like kings!
Happy Yule from Loki and Sigyn!