Month: January 2016

Swag, Part IV: Odds and Ends

We still haven’t reached the end of the SWAG.  Inside the ugly green bag is a soft canvas tote bag emblazoned with a friendly sheep.  Sigyn is smitten.

sheepbag

Oooo!  The sheep on the bag is holding a tote bag with a sheep holding a tote bag, with a teenier sheep holding an even teenier tote bag!  Et cetera, ad infinitum. How very recursive.

There’s something else soft and cloth-y down there, too.  I think it… Yes, it’s a T-shirt.  Size Enormous, just right for the human female.  Sigyn is trying to imitate the Science Ninjas on the front.

scienceninja

Hold on–There’s something rustling around right down at the very bottom!  Something alive!

<sniff, sniff…>

Smells like…

BACON!

piggy1

Fandral’s mustache!  Who’d have guessed?   A stout, soft, squeezable swine, a veritable pudgy prince among porcine playmates.

Sigyn has named him Percy, and–ugh! Sigyn!  Don’t kiss the piggy!

pigsmooch

You kiss ME with that mouth!  Eewwww…

That’s it.  I think we’re done with SWAG here.  Let’s stuff all the junky literature back into the hideous tote and carry off our booty.

piggy2

We can negotiate later whether the pig is going to be a pet or pancetta

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Swag, Part III: Some Very Fun Things

One never really knows what the vendors are going to be handing out as SWAG.

Look at this, Sigyn!

penlight

This pen has a little light!  We can use it for reading in bed and harassing the feline!

And this ruler could be very useful too.  Hold your cute little foot up, and let’s see what size shoe you take.

ruler

Some SWAG items are more fun than others.

pinchclip

Unhand my beloved, you pernicious pincher!  Hang on, dearest, Loki’s coming!

Here, Sigyn, these won’t hurt you.

pencils1

Sigyn, of course, has a favorite.

sigynpencil

I heard the human female say the colored pencils were a door prize.  Presumably that means the show coordinators thrust them at her as they shoved her out the door.  Probably worth giving away good stuff just to see her leave.

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Swag, Part II: Rolling in Stationery

The human female is hoping that there will be office supplies amongst the SWAG.  Notepads are always welcome.

notepad

Oh, look!  Here’s a very nice planner!  Even though nearly a whole month is gone, I can still put this to good use.  A world-conquering supervillain can never be too organized.

planner2

This notepad just needs a little personalizing.

notepad2

Loki is everywhere!

notepad3

And don’t you forget it!

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Swag, Part I: Holding the Bag

From time to time the human female goes to one of the Scientific Products shows that are held on campus.  Theoretically, it’s so she can go and look at products that might be useful in the teaching labs or talk to the vendors and try to arrange a good price for chemicals or labware that she needs.  But I know better:  These shows usually have free food, which she is genetically incapable of passing up. Also, the vendor booths hand out little free things.  Collectively, this is called “SWAG”  The human female will stand and talk with purveyors of multi-thousand-dollar microscopes and animal-anaesthesia systems and whatnot, knowing full well she will never buy anything from them, just hoping they are handing out superior trinkets.  I think therefore, that “SWAG” might also be an acronym:  Stuff We Aren’t Getting, or perhaps Schmooze While Actually Greedy.

Today the human female has returned with quite a haul, all loaded into this handy-but-garish insulated bag.

bag1

She has left it unattended whilst eating her lunch (Really?  She has room for lunch after inhaling a buffet’s worth of cookies, fruit, pizza, and bagels?)  Sigyn, let us examine the contents more closely.

bag2

There seems to be a vast quantity of paper inside.

coupon

Hmm.  A coupon for a company which deals in gold.  She is just going to squander this, so I think I’ll take it.  I could use some more gold.

sigynlit

Sigyn is going to be disappointed when she learns that this company does not actually sell orchids.

literature

More brochures, all for products she will probably never buy.  Although I might contact this outfit to see if they can produce antibodies that will render me proof against the epidemic of election year rhetoric, by which I find myself increasingly sickened…

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Time to Sample the Results

Do you recall the round baked things the human female made a while back?  She stuffed one of them with bacon and cheese (which was delectable), and the other was full of brown sugar, cinnamon, and orange peel.  She froze that one, hoping I’d forget about it, so she could eat it all herself.

The other day she trotted it out, let it thaw, warmed it up, and drizzled drenched it almond glaze.  It looked positively scrumptious.  Then she put on some slivered almonds and it looked even better.

Then she had to go and ruin it with some of those abominations that the Midgardians call merry-shino cherries.  (I suppose because they’re supposed to make people happy.)

tearing6

They don’t make ME happy, so she has no business putting them on anything destined to come anywhere near me. Bleargh-shudder-bleargh!  Too sweet!  Too sweet!!  Cherries are for eating out of hand or for pie, woman, not for dousing in syrup and red dye.  On Asgard–Hel, even on Jotunheim!–we do not torture stone fruit in such a barbaric manner.  How did you people ever learn to walk upright and stop eating mud?

Sigyn, of course, thinks they’re “nummy” and was only too happy to eat mine as well as hers.  Then again, we all know she has a thing for cherries

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‘Tis Better To Give Than To Receive…Not

The human female has been a busy little bee, going through the closet and all her drawers, sorting out her wardrobe.  There are all the garments she loves and wears regularly (boring), the items she’d like to wear but can’t get into anymore (*cough* toomanycookies *cough*), the things she’d wear if they were mended (#lazy), a few things that are so worn they are fit only for the rubbish (this category overlaps with the favorites to no small degree), and the clothes she wants to donate to a charity.  (I don’t think the poor are going to want some of them!)

The mending pile is huge. (I may have helped pop a few seams and wrench off a few buttons…)   The give-away pile is even bigger!

clothes1

Hmm. Now that I think about it… My old cloak is looking rather shabby.  Frayed around the edges, and there’s that white stain that Sigyn hasn’t been able to get out…

clothes2

I could donate tha—   Wait.  What am I thinking?!  Loki, God of Greedy Mischief, does not give anything away!  Nope.  I’m keeping this old cloak for all the sweaty, muddy, prickly rambles the human female drags me on.  The poor will just have to find their own green cloaks.

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