Look! Isn’t this majestic?
Is this Loki, Rightful King of Asgard and future Sovereign of Midgard, contemplating his spot in the center of the galaxy?
No, it is not.
It is Loki, Righteous Eater of Pies and Punisher of Pie-Hoarders. It really frosted my doughnuts that the human female pulled that nasty, greedy stunt with the galette. I thought long and hard about how to make her pay…
But then I thought, oughtn’t I to be a benevolent ruler, rather than a petty scorekeeper and requiter of fructocrustaceous misdeeds? Shouldn’t I be doing something to help build a better Midgard for all of us?
Thusly inspired, I started an after-hours recreational group for some local youths. They were bored and had no amusements, so I introduced them to the thrill and discipline of target shooting with air rifles. Keen eye, steady hand, and all that.
The human female now has concrete proof of my altruism, as do at least fifty-nine other automobile owners in town. Not bad for a one night’s work!
The humans spent the period between 3:12 and 5:00 a.m. sweeping up the glinty, diamond-like evidence of youthful enthusiasm from the driveway and alleyway.
This morning, while waiting for the glass repair shop to have an opening (See! A local business is benefitting!), the human female is sweeping up more glass and picking it out of the car’s upholstery and the lawn. She is also puzzling how to get it out of the spare tire well, since she’s too feeble to loosen the lug nuts holding the tire on.
What? NO! Sigyn, I know you are entranced by the shiny little sparklies,
but they are sharper than they look! Do leave them for the human female! Sweeping is good aerobic exercise. Contributing to community health! Ta-da! A trifecta of civic-mindedness!
P.S. Isn’t it odd that the human female’s insurance deductible on auto glass is almost the same amount as she just earned by doing some reviewing and editing for the university’s press?