Day: July 20, 2016

“Q” is for “Quilt.” “O” is for “Oops,” Part I: Doomed From the Outset

The human female, in what in retrospect has proven to be a miscalculation on her part, made a baby quilt with hand-embroidery for the first grandniece. I’ve never understood the Midgardian fascination for cutting up perfectly good cloth, only to sew it together again in a different fashion, nor spending countless hours on an object that will be dragged about and subjected to a wide array of bodily effluvia, but at least the results were colorful.

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This quilt Established a Precedent, so she was compelled to make one for the second grandniece.  That one featured three anthropomorphized ursines and their adventures with a small, blond, vandal…

leisure-bears

When the grandnephew made an appearance, she once again set about creating a quilt with what she terms a “period kitschy” style.  That one had circus animals.  It must have been forgettable, though, because I can’t find any photos of it.

Well, apparently, there is another grandnephew, so there is yet another quilt in the works.

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That’s it?  This is the great future heirloom and repository of toddler drool?  Vague scratchings and even vaguer math.  This could be bad.  Very bad.

the-math.jpg

The first quilt featured animal designs from the 1920’s.  The next two featured 1930’s prints.  The featured fabric for this one… Oh, Sigyn, look away!  It’s TOO HORRIBLE! 

spacefabric

Creepy Sputnik-era Space Babies!  Sigyn thinks the kitten in the space ball is cute.  I think this is going to give the child nightmares.  I must stop this monstrosity from coming into being—but how?

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