Day: August 10, 2016

The Passing of a Giant, Part I: Before

Behold!  One of the large, mature oak trees in the humans’ back yard.


Unfortunately, all of the foliage belongs to a wild grape vine (the same one that treats us to driveway jam each year.)  The tree itself is dead, dead, DEAD.


It’s never a good sign when large slabs of bark start sloughing off and landing in the driveway.  Can you say, “Vegetable cadaver“?

The human female, of course, feels sixteen kinds of guilt and sorrow over the demise of this lofty giant.  And so she should!  Had she nursed it through the recent drought with more care and diligence, it might well have survived.  Its continued presence is an ever-present reproach to her and her useless degrees in botany and horticulture.  It looms, spectre-like, over her psyche–and the house.  Should it fall upon this dwelling, it would smash the roof and complete the crushing of her spirit, so the humans have decreed it must not be allowed to remain.  The human female, knowing her limitations for once in her life, has determined not to try to do the job herself.

I offered to blast the offending arboreal corpse into non-existence, but for some reason my magical overtures were rudely spurned.  Such ingratitude!  Not only would I have removed this woody titan utterly, but the humans would have been the proud owners of sizeable crater which could have been converted into a tasteful koi pond or useful pig-roasting pit.

No, the humans have engaged a professional tree-felling service.  The workmen have arrived early with their specialized equipment.


They have gone aside for a moment to confer.  Surely someone with my brilliance can quickly apprehend the operation of this machine?


See?  GO and STOP–how difficult could this be?


Ah–Perhaps there is more to this than just GO and STOP.  It makes sense that there would be and UP and DOWN component as well.



It is a most marvelous machine.


I still think I could figure it out before they get back.

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