Day: August 12, 2016

God of Small But Painful Annoyances

After the human female unspooled all  most of the grapevine from the saplings surrounding the tall tree stump, she let me out of the freezer and went to do a bit more tidying  up in the yard.  As a final task, she dragged the ladder around under the trees in order to climb up and snatch down some ball moss.  This plant, by typical Midgardian “logic” is not a moss and only loosely resembles a ball.  The human female hates ball moss.  She thinks it’s ugly, and even though it is supposed to be harmless to the trees it grows on, it can be more than a bit invasive.

Now, I rather like ball moss.  It’s persistent, and hardy, and ubiquitous, and damned hard to get rid of.  I took great offense at her persecution of this beautiful bromeliad which I deliberately introduced to the backyard.  She managed to get the one out of the holly and, after a bit of tugging and dragging, she was able to put the ladder under the one in the toothache tree.

Just as she was climbing up, I poked her, and she jumped up, hitting her head on one of the branches.  WHAM!  Ehehehe–It’s not TOOTHACHE tree, it’s HEADACHE tree!

As I was invisible, she chalked it up to congenital, idiopathic clumsiness and didn’t think too much about it.  But the lump on her noggin has kept hurting, so she has asked the Blue-haired Goddaughter to take a look.  Is it just a puncture?  Or is there something IN there?  Now the BHG is parting the thin gray hair and poking at the little black spot with a needle.  The human female is making the most ghastly grimmacey faces.  What a wimp.


Do you SEE that?  That is what the BHG has dug out of the human female’s scalp!  It’s the spike from one of the tree’s big, fat-based bark thorns. That will teach her to shut me away from the fun and meddle with vegetation under my protection!

Bet there’s a corresponding hole in her hat, too…

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