The Kitchen is a Scary Place, Part IV: It’s Pure Evil

I can’t lie.  (Well, I can, but not about this. ) This tool is my favorite. It is the King of Graters’ even more lethal older brother.  

Stand back, Sigyn!  Don’t come any closer…


This sort of device is commonly called a mandolin.  The human female used it for the first time the other day, with my supervision, and now it has a new name.

She calls it the Pinky Guillotine.

What did she expect, using it without the ultra-slippy-and-cumbersome prongy food holder?

So now she knows that we have two types of adhesive bandages in the house.


The weird, textured rubbery ones that stick very well but sort of disintegrate when you try to remove them,


and the sort that un-adhere instantly in contact with moisture of any sort.

And after the wailing and the blood and the bandages and the cleanup, there is still dinner to finish making!

Yes indeed, it is my favorite.

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  1. “Checking the stir-fry for unauthorized bits?” “It’ll be better when the loose strips of skin dry up and fall off?” Eeeeeeeeeew!

    This is SEPTEMBER, not the end of October! It’s TOO SOON to be posting nightmare-inducing blog entries and taglines! Save that for Halloween!

    Oh… wait…. I forget that that you do hitch rides with the human female from time to time, and sometimes accompany her to various local mercantile establishments… which means you’ve been seeing Halloween items for sale ever since the 4th of July items were put away…

    But – it also means that your CHRISTMAS SHOPPING should begin soon – which is the most nightmarish thought of all!

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