The Cake is a Lie

Humans set great store by birthdays and anniversaries.  The educational institution at which the human male and female work is celebrating the 140th anniversary of its founding this year, and there are all sorts of festivities planned. Now 140 years, in comparison with the age of Asgard, or even the lifespan of a single Aes or Jotun, is nothing, but Sigyn and I have heard that there is going to be free birthday cake in the plaza today.

I am all about cake.

So here we are! There is certainly a great crowd and a lot of noise.

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I do not see anyone with cake. I do not SMELL cake.  By Volstagg’s straining waistband, there appears to be NO CAKE.  None!  Outrage!  All they have is free water.  Water, pfft! This just goes to show you how sloppily this place is being run and how much better it will be when I take over.

Sigyn, as long as we are down here, do you want to look at what else is going on?  They do not have free T-shirts in our size, but there are games, I think.  I might try this giant Jenga…

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…because I feel like knocking something over.

Sigyn! Sigyn, where’d you go?!

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Sigh.  Sigyn, love, I know you like that game because it is red and yellow, but you do realize that if you sit there people are going to throw beanbags at you?  Do come away from there!  Look, we can go see what that all those people are lining up for over that way.

We have now been standing here in the sun for quite a while.  (The free water is beginning to look good.)  What is at the front of the line that has everyone so excited?

Well, fancy that.  This beast is the totem animal for the university and is much worshiped and depicted in many sorts of art.  The locals believe the spirit of this creature is passed down from incarnation to incarnation.  This is already the ninth one.  Probably the school should look into something sturdier.

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Soon enough, dog, the peasantry will know who the REAL god is around here.  Enjoy the limelight now because in the future it will be all Loki, all the time and you can fetch my slippers.

Sigyn wants to know who the gentlemen in white are.  Sigyn, those are the semi-professional rabble-rousers that appear at the university’s sporting events.  Apparently the populace won’t cheer unless whipped into a frenzy by their shouts and gesticulations.  What?   You want your photograph taken with them?  Very well, but I don’t see the appeal.

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When I come to rule, the citizenry won’t need prompting to cheer.  But I will admit that the white uniforms are rather effective (if not terribly practical), so I might think about outfitting my personal guard in such a manner…

Still no cake.  Monstrous, that’s what it is.  Have you had enough party for one day, my sweet?  Me, too.  Let us depart.

Stopping on the way out of the plaza, of course, to make my customary withdrawal from the First Bank of Sully.

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4 comments

  1. One does not LIE about free cake and not expect consequences. I should hope that, once you become leader of our Realm (please note that I fully support your takeover and hopefully would at least earn a t-shirt for my loyalty), their punishment is significant and worthwhile.

    Lying about cake INDEED.

  2. If you would like to apply formally for a position under the new regime, please submit a current resume’ and 3,000-word essay on Why Loki Should Be in Charge of Everything.

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