Day: February 10, 2017

In Which I Practice a Useful Skill

Long-time readers may remember that I have a fondness for the Midgardian dish known as guacamole.  To begin with, it’s green.  It also goes well with a surprising number of things.  Exception:  marshmallow fluff.  I suspect even Volstagg wouldn’t eat that.

So today, the human female and I are making some.  I have agreed to assist for a number of excellent reasons

a) there’s the tingly suspense–will she cut herself with the knife this time or not?

b) it’s always funny to see her covered in goop.  Said goop increasing the chances of a Knife Incident by 27%.

and c) at the end of it, there will be delicious, delicious guacamole.

First, we assemble the ingredients.


The lime has been in the cooling box for quite some time, but I judge it to be satisfactory nonetheless.

What a superior avocado!  No brown spots, and perfectly ripe.  I will admit, at this stage i am always tempted to just leap in and wallow in it, but I know that the finished dish will be even tastier.


Well, rats. The human female’s knife skills are adequate to the task today.  Both magnificent alligator pears halved, peeled, and chunked with nary a hint of hemoglobin.  Anticlimactic.  But I suppose it’s just as well.  Blood does not improve the taste of guacamole.

Here follows an interlude of mashing, mixing, and frequent sampling for quality control.  I have had to remind the human female not to forget the garlic powder, and I have judged the proper addition of salsa to the part per million.

Behold! The finished product in all its goopy green glory!

If guacamole has any flaw at all, it may be that it tends to turn brown if not consumed quickly enough, even with the lime juice.



Fortunately, that will not be a problem today.  Pass the chips!

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