Oh, No! Not You Too!

The human female, daily dismayed at her advancing avoirdupois and her increasing rickettyness*, has joined a yogurt  yoga class at the university.  And before I could stop her, she talked Sigyn into doing it with her.  Now, twice a week, I have to eat lunch by myself while Sigyn does all sorts of bendy things in a quiet room full of limber people in stretchy clothes.

There are names for all of the poses.  I can’t possibly be expected to remember them, so I’ll let Sigyn narrate.

….

Hi! Sigyn here!  We like to start with some simple relaxation and breathing.  In and out.  In and out…  Let your mind go empty.**

resting

Reverse swan dive up, opening up the spine.  Imagine that string pulling up on the top of your head.

mountain

And bend forward, walking those feet back into downward dog.  (I know it looks like I’m topless, but I promise it’s just that the back of my shirt is flesh-colored!)

downward-dog

Return standing, then lunge forward into warrior one. 

warrior

Now balance on that front foot.  Keep your hips facing forward.  Don’t forget to breathe!

one-leg-warrior

Now we work on strengthening our glutes and abdominals with bridge.

bridge

If you can raise one leg.  Good!  Now hold…

one-leg-up-bridge

Now back on one leg, reach back and hold one foot.  Feel those quads!  Don’t worry if you have trouble balancing–you’ll get the hang of it soon!

grab-leg-behind

Move downward into plank (you can do kneeling plank if you prefer.)

plank

Push up into cobra.  Keep your neck nice and long.

cobra

Two more times. When you’re done, lie back down and–

Sigyn, aren’t you done yet?  I’ve been waiting for you forever and you promised we’d go for a walk.

time-for-snack

Fie!  Too many spandex-clad, shushing people in here–I’ll meet you outside.

see-you-later

>|: [

*I don’t know how she manages to be both stiff AND wobbly, but she does!

** The human female’s natural state–Loki

Advertisements

One comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s