Month: March 2017

When One Market Isn’t Enough

Odin’s eyepatch!  One enormous food market wasn’t enough for the humans. They’ve crossed the Big City to the South to visit another one.  This one specializes in “ethnic” food from all over.   I bet they don’t have anything Asgardian or Jotun.  They really can’t call themselves universal if they only carry goods from one realm.

I think I will have to chivvy Sigyn past the produce.  She does love a good miniature pear.

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I can’t say I blame her.   Those are some pretty cute little pomes.

Sigyn’s wondering how this colorful spoon was made.  Near as I can figure, sorcery.

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I think I shall demand the human female buy me one to eat my morning porridge with!

Multiple choice question:   Which of the following (if any) is/are correct?

a)  it is a little late for Yule cookies

b) it is odd to have a very very very Caucasian Santa on Mexican Yule cookies.  (I know, I know,  Spanish colonization, etc., etc., but he is SO pasty!)

c) Santa looks like he is hopped up on something a wee bit stronger than sabor vainilla.

d) all of the above

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On to the candy section!  Not that the human female can HAVE any right now.  Ehehehehehe…

Nope, no chocolate dinosaurs for her!

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No lobster poop, neither.

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I believe I can, however, get her a dispensation to eat the bear poop.  (She just shouldn’t be surprised when, you know, those things actually taste like bear poop.)

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A Most Superior Market, Part II: Random Comestibles

Apparently we are not done shopping.  There is still the bakery to explore.  I am enjoying this greatly because the human female gave up sweets for Lent again, and she is making little moany noises at the almond croissants and tres leches cakes that she can’t have.  Hey, stupid, it was your idea to come in here.

I am intrigued by these triquetrous little treats whose name sounds like a cross between a sneeze and a throat clearing…

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Onward to the dairy section!  Sigyn is excited thinking that this brand of yogurt is especially for her

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No sweetie, I’m sorry.  I can see how you might think so, but read the label a bit more carefully.  We can buy you some, though, if you like!

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And this one?  No.  Sorry again.  It’s not really made from wallaby milk.  Yes, I’m sure.   I agree!  They shouldn’t put it on the label if it isn’t true.

Meanwhile, pardon the bad photo, but I’m planning to stealthily sneak these into the human female’s cart…

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Now that’s a penitential snack!

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A Most Superior Market, Part I: A Heaping Helping of Hesperidia

It never ceases to amaze me that the first thing the humans want to do after eating an enormous lunch in the Big City to the South is to go to the large food market and buy more things to eat.  I think the human female has an inner Volstagg or something.

It looks as if the produce department is all about the citrus today.

This sort is purportedly large enough to engage in weight-based wrestling sports.

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I actively disbelieve.  These are defnitely not sumo-sized.   I could take one single-handedly and reduce it to pulp in a trice.

Now THIS is a sumo citrus.  Rawwwr!

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Oranges after my own heart:

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Dark, complex, and bloody.

Meanwhile, Sigyn has found some fruit that are more her size.

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Remember the trick with this sort, dearest.  The rind is sweet and the pulp is sour, so you have to eat the whole thing at once.  Think you can do it?

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Of Pens, Panic, and Noodles

No visit to the Big City to the South would be complete without a visit to the Purveyor of Pens.  The human male and his friend (who has accompanied us on this jaunt) are busy debating the merits of various inks and pens.  I’m not terribly interested in such and am amusing myself by mixing up all the jars of pre-filled pens so that each has three or four different kinds, none of which correspond to the label.

Sigyn is enjoying the fresh flowers that the proprietors tend to have.

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Now she has wandered toward the uncharted territory that is the back of the store.  Looks like she is making some new friends.

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Not sure what those bearded geezers are doing in a pen shop.  Perhaps they are hear to buy nibs.

(Later:)  The humans have finally finished buying more scribing supplies than anyone could possibly need.  Since it is lunchtime, they have decided that we should check out the eating establishment across the street.  Looks like we can easily place our orders and get a table and

GREAT FRIGGA’S CORSET!!!   WHERE IS SIGYN?!!!!    YOU SPAWN OF A BILGESNIPE, YOU LEFT HER IN THE PEN STORE, DIDN’T YOU?!  

Now the brainless female has run back to the pen store and searched by the flowers and has not found her–and is panicking, and rightfully so!  If my beloved has been kidnapped is in any other way harmed in the slightest, I will make the human female’s short, miserable, mortal life even shorter and much more miserable.

The human female has returned, despondent, to the noodle house.  Luckily, one of the party at our table has a brain.   All it takes is my pointing out to the female that she has, in fact, got a photo of Sigyn talking to those skeezy pixies.  Back she runs, and yes, there Sigyn is, singing little songs with them and not at all aware that she has sent three mortals and one Jotun into heart failure.

I think we all need some hot noodles as a restorative.

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Ah, here’s our order.  Lemongrass chicken vermicelli bowl.  Looks good.

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Fun fact:  The word “vermicelli” is based on a root meaning “worms.”  Watch me change the human female’s vermicelli into the real thing mid-mouthful.

Now that’s a face.

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Half-off on Fun!

The humans, recognizing that it is not possible to house every book on the planet in their not-overly-large house, recently completed a rather exhaustive cull of the volumes on their shelves–and tables, and floor.  (The male used to manage a bookstore where he exercised NO restraint whatsoever and allowed all manner of titles to follow him home.)

Therefore, one of the stops on our visit to the Big City to the South is a very large used bookstore, where the humans hope to sell some three laundry baskets, five boxes, and two bags full of books.   The man at the buy counter does not look too enthusiastic about pricing such a quantity of dubious literature.  (I may have hinted that there are Harlequin Romances and silverfish throughout, which is not true, but I can’t have the humans leaving with too much money!)

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See the boxes at the buy counter?  That’s their stuff!

While the cranky man–who really just wants to peer in the car and give them five dollars–deigns to look at a few of the books, I think Sigyn and I will do a little browsing.

This has potential, though if all it can throw is ping-pong balls, I’m not sure it’s worth twelve bucks.

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Pfft!  I have more magic in my pinky toenail than in this box!

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Sigyn, my love, have you found anything?

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And that would be a “yes.”

Eheheheheh!  The humans have been offered thirty-six dollars for their books.  Quite a slap in the face when I know for a fact that one of the books of comics, with its mint-in-package action figure, regularly lists for over $100 on ebay.  They have to smile and take it, unless they want to pack it all back into their car and drive it all home again.

Now, Mr. Cranky Bookman, about my cut….

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A Most Perilous Visit, Part II: Danger Everywhere!

The knittery friend’s house is full of interesting and beautiful things.  Take for instance, this sparkly new carafe.  It’s one of the old-fashioned ones with the glass that goes on upside down for a lid.

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Sigyn is quite entranced by the shiny.

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You can stay and admire the carafe as much as you want, sweetie.

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I’m going to go see if the children have any fun new toys.  I’ll be back in a bit.

…..

Not a moment too soon, evidently.

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(later)  Now that Sigyn is recovered from her fright, it is time for some adventure.  The knittery friend’s clever spouse has installed an ingenious pegboard in the kitchen.  It is useful for getting all the odd-shaped bits of cookware out of the cupboards.

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It also makes a marvelous climbing wall!

How are you doing down there, Sigyn?

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I have conquered the wall!  Time to jump down and go in search of celebratory beverages!

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Ow.

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A Most Perilous Visit, Part I: New Faces

A visit to the Big City to the South usually includes a visit to the human female’s knittery friend and her family.  There is a new baby in that house.  Sigyn wants to see it, but I’m not as keen.  In my experience baby humans just grow up to be humans, and once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.

There is another new resident in the house, but he seems not to be as cuddly.

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Unhand my beloved and put me down.  And no funny business!

Slepnir’s fetlocks, that was close!  I did manage to poke him enough to make him put us down.  And just to really teach him not to mess with Loki–Hey, what’s this slot back here?

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(Shake, shake.)  I her jingling!  This miscreant has swallowed some coinage!   I think I will turn him inside out and see if I can come up with enough to go out for ice cream.

And who is THIS handsome person?  He cuts quite a dashing figure and I swear he looks familiar…

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The human female is laughing and pointing at me behind her hand.  He may have a magnificent horned helmet such as I wear, but I will have you know I have NEVER worn green socks!

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Hey! Fisi, NO!  Do not bite the glorious green cape!  NO!  Bad  hyena!  Who let you out of the car, anyway?

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But you have my blessing to chew on those green socks…

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Grrr.  Go get ’em!

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