(Previously in the human female’s miserable life:)
The human female just got a call from the stockroom, telling her that a HUGE package had arrived for her. This is exciting! Also very interesting and mysterious, since she hasn’t ordered anything large. She has dispatched Prep Staff to fetch it.
Sleipnir’s fetlocks! It really is big!
Looks like someone can’t read the handling directions.
Great Frigga’s Hairpins! This box looks like it went a few rounds with Thor in one of his “playful” moods. It’s missing a plastic strap, one edge is all staved in, the packing slip is gone, and there’s a big hole in the middle of one side.
It’s so banged up that one of the particleboard inserts of the carton is BROKEN.
A peep through the hole suggests that this package contains a white board.
The human female isn’t expecting a white board. She was going to order one for that basement classroom that was renovated at the beginning of the semester. If you recall, someone else ordered it, the human female was promised it would be hung in time for the semester to start, but there was no board until a great deal later than that.
The human female and her prep staff have opened the box and yes, indeed, it contains a 48″ square whiteboard. Or rather a white and black board, since there’s a big gouge in the face of the thing, all the way through to the black backing.
And look! All the mounting hardware is loose in the box.
The little package it comes in is open and the human female doesn’t even know if all the bits are here!
It really does look as if this box was opened and someone started an installation and then changed their minds.
But who ordered it, and where is it supposed to go? The person who took delivery says that it was dropped off by “two men in a pickup.” She signed for it, even though it didn’t have a packing slip. (That grinding noise you hear is the human female’s teeth.)
Ah. A few phone calls have revealed that this board was ordered for the lecturers’ office. Unfortunately, it’s not usable and will have to go back. Meanwhile, it has to go somewhere, so Prep Staff is stashing it in the room down the hall, which is a least close to the elevator.
It is two weeks later. “Margaret” from the company that sent the white board has promised that someone will pick up the damaged board and bring a replacement. But she isn’t returning the human female’s phone calls or emails, the board is still cluttering up room 305, and the human female is about to take leave for the holidays.
I’m starting a betting pool as to whether it will still be here in the New Year. Any takers?