Day: February 16, 2018

Mischief Update: A Lot to Pack Into A Month, Part II—Doomed to Disappointment

The human female doesn’t need any more Stitching Stash, and that is a provable fact. She will have to live to be two hundred and fifty to use up half of what she has in the way of quilt fabric, thread, and needlework projects.  But she always likes to look at things and to order more.

She received some money as a Yule gift last year, and after much pondering and hemming and hawing and driving everyone up the wall with her indecision, settled on these two designs.


She wrote to the designer of that red one and asked if the separate squares could be substituted into the squares of the sampler, since she didn’t want to stitch two Yule goats.  “Yes,” replied the designer, “But those aren’t goats, they’re deer.”  Here’s a towel, mortal.  You can wipe the egg off your face.

When she finally unclenched her wallet and went to actually order them online, it was only to find that I’d massaged a few electrons and the website refused point blank to honor her gift certificate.  She tried again the next day, calling the shop directly.  They couldn’t get their software to accept it either.  Eventually they did allow as how the GC hadn’t been redeemed yet, and they agreed to process the order, somehow managing to insinuate that the whole muddle was all her fault.

In any case, she won’t get a chance to stitch them any time soon, because a) she’s still busy ruining quilting on that cowboy thing, and b) the bird kit is shipping from a different part of Midgard and can take from 3 to 12 weeks to arrive.  Give or take, estimate-wise.   So, no joy there.

She has a birthday this month (and oh!  How it galls me to have to share the same one-twelfth of the calendar with her!), and after a lot of deliberation, she decided that, as she sometimes designs her own pieces, it would be useful to have the latest thread color card from Da Most Colors, a very popular brand.


Sigyn was looking forward to its arrival almost as much as she was, because it actually has little samples of all the threads and Sigyn likes to look at them and imagine what she’d do with them.

The human male agreed that this would be a sensible and useful gift, so he tried to order one.  However, between when he first saw it advertised and when he clicked to purchase, the company had all sold out.  A bit of sleuthing on the human female’s part turned up a supplier in this part of Midgard, who had them at a very attractive price.  Boom!  Ordered!

Boom! Currently sold out, possibly shipping next month…

To console herself, she contemplated ordering this kit online.


She’d stumbled into the motherlode of kits from Russia, designs she’d never seen before.  So exciting!  But then she noticed that a number of them looked familiar as artwork, not as kits, and she started to wonder about copyrights, etc.  Now, if it had been me, I’d have ordered the kit of summer flowers because it was much prettier and included lots of green hit the “buy” button anyway because copyright/schmopyright, but she’s such a goody-goody that she regretfully closed the browser window.

And I know you’ve heard me mention the human female’s bad trotters.  (Everyone’s heard.  All she does is WHINE.)  The minute she gets one problem cleared up, another surfaces.  She’s in search of comfortable shoes.  (It’s amazing how many of Midgard’s women spend their lives in this pursuit.   Hela’s houseslippers!  I’ll wager that if I magicked up some cute but comfortable shoes I could win over half of the planet in one go!  Note to self: look into this…)  Recently, she ordered what she thought might be her answer.  They arrived speedily.


And departed in the same fashion.  She has now given up any hope of ever being able to wear anything even remotely “cute” and is just looking for “does not make me want to gnaw my leg off.”

I can do this all day.

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