Day: June 7, 2018

Loki Takes New York, Day 4: Wanderings and Wiseassery

Fortunately for my nerves, the humans are not planning to spend ALL their time in museums.  Do not misunderstand me.  I like a good museum as much as the next man, but by Odin’s Empty Eyesocket the humans are so slow!  The human female has to stop and read. every. single. card. and. label.  The male has to take fourteen photos of each object.  Clicky, clicky, something about bracketing, clicky.    

Hwaarrrrrgh!!!  Sometimes I just want to whip out Gungnir and give them a bit of a prod from behind, you know?

Today they purpose to do a bit of shopping and some sight-seeing and end up at the harbor for a sail.  The male wants to visit–big surprise!–both of the large camera stores in this city, along with a purveyor of fountain pens and a stationery store, to fondle various papers.  The female wouldn’t mind beads and toys.

Thus, we are on the subway, headed south this time.  Some of the advertisements in the train cars are interesting, but I may have to locate the artist who drew the ugly cartoon series for the roommate-finding service and turn him/her into a smallish, squashable beetle.

To express my displeasure, I have interrupted power on the entire line.  The humans will have to disembark, switch lines, and try again.  Good thing they have their Metro cards, which allow them unlimited use of trains and buses for an entire week!

We have emerged like moles, blinking, at the corner of Union Square.  Look, Sigyn!  There is a street market!  There seems to be quite a variety of comestibles, as well as a good deal of nursery stock.

I see you have already found the sweet alyssum.


I know you’re excited, Dearest, but do recall that anything we buy, even if I teleport it home, the human female, in combination with the horrible city water, is bound to kill within a fortnight.


Ah!  Apples.  Let us see if there are any we haven’t sampled yet.


Sadly, no.  It is not the right season for apples.  But any chance to sample Roxbury Russets is not to be missed.  And Sigyn approves of all the lilacs.

(later)  We did manage to find one of the camera stores, and the male purchased a rolling case for all of his camera gear.  (Good, because I was not about to help him carry any of it!)  We also located a store selling Japanese stationery, clothes, and home goods.  It took forever to pry the humans out of that one.  I kept a close eye on Sigyn, because when we visited such a shop in London, she met with a bit of misfortune and needed rescuing.

Now, I think, we are just traipsing about.  Ostensibly, we are looking for some ancient church, because the humans and Sigyn have a “thing” about stained glass and old stone.  The mortals, however, cannot seem to find the right subway station, even with four eyes, two brains, their cell phones, and three maps.

They have found this instead.


Three enormous, bronze, stackable rhinos.  I will never understand Midgardian art.   All that bronze could have been put to much better use making a statue of me.

It transpires that failing to find the subway has not slowed the humans down much.  They have, by sheer dumb luck, managed to find the church they were seeking.  I will wait outside while Sigyn has a look around.


Moving on!  On the humans’ over-ambitious target list for this trip is a huge bookstore called The Strand.  Bookstores, I can stomach.

Up on the “rare and old” floor, some of the shelves have books sorted by color, for those morons who value books only as decorative objects.


But I must admit the green section is very flattering.

They also sell greeting cards and signs.  I like this one.


Foolish mortals!  You have taken too long today, with your subways and your markets and churches and imported notebooks!  The children’s bookstore which you wished to visit has just closed, and you are too late to book a sail today!   Thus do the plans of dawdlers come to naught!

You have also tarried too long to pick up anything decent at one of the ready-to-eat shops and will have to find a second to secure tonight’s dinner.  I am hot and tired and cranky, so, after a very warm day of trudging around, you will find that I have arranged for the second shop to be out of limeade.  And you, female, will find a live mosquito inside your sandwich wrapper!

We are back at the inn.  I find that I am still feeling a bit peevish, as well as Quite Put Out with the humans and the MTA.  Thus, I will take advantage of one the Interesting Period Features of this establishment.  In the lobby, there is a large, brass plate which proclaims that it is an authorized United States Postbox.   In days of yore, there was a pneumatic mail system that carried mail throughout the building and, one assumes, to the local post office.   On each floor, there are mail slots that once waited to whisk letters away.

Mail slots like this one.  Going…






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