All of the soft rubber balls have been humanely disposed of, and the humans have made a mental note not to bring any more into the house.
I’ve got news for you, mortals: It’s not just the stress-foam balls that are falling prey to the ravages of the Terror Twins.
No, indeed! Inspired by my own savagery, the felines have perpetrated horrors upon the toy population that make the ancient Midgardian practice of decimatio look like a pillow fight.
Blue Mousie is sans most of his tail,
while Green Mousie is hemorrhaging stuffing from his ventral suture. It’s barbaric.
And it’s not just the neon mousie population that has suffered. These are just the victims Sigyn and I could find. Many of them just Disappear.
For behold! Here are the three sparkle pom-poms and the fifteen crinkle balls given to Taffy and Flannel. Here are the three grey fabric mice with the colored ears, the grey fur mouse, the white fur mouse, and old black Turdmouse himself.
The package-to-oblivion record for a crinkle ball is under ten seconds.
I am so proud.