Month: September 2018

Sometimes My Mischief is Not Required

Forgot to post this earlier.  Ridiculous.  Just ridiculous.

disaster preparedness

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A Mini-Break, Part VI: The Aftermath

The ice cream mochi, bless their chilly little hearts, did not make it as far as the parking lot.  They would not have survived the trip home in a hot car anyway–that’s our story and we’re sticking with it.  They proved to be quite delicious, though the feel of the outside plus the cold of the inside takes a bit of getting used to.

The human female bought some of her favorite sour gummy heptopi, and they did weather the trip home, but they were sadly rendered extinct before the night was out.

no more octopi

Let’s hope these fellows fare a little better.

dino gummies

Somehow, I’m not too hopeful.

It looks like the dinos and these are the only treats left.  The human male picked these out.  Apple Pie Almonds, eh?

almonds1

What are they covered in?  It looks like sawdust, but I bet that’s not it.  Is there an ingredient list?

Uh, oh.  The label says “chocolate.”  The humans can’t have that.  More for me!  Oh, sorry, I mean, “too bad for you.”  (Sorry, not sorry.)

almonds2

I figured as much.  They’re “white chocolate,” which is a fancy way of saying “cocoa butter and sugar.”  The humans can eat that, so looks like Sigyn and I will have to share.

 

almonds3

That is, if I can figure out how to open this teasing little box…

almonds4

It has mocked all my efforts!  Time for a blast of magic!

That’s more like it.

almonds5

I still say that coating looks like sawdust.  From the color, possibly held on with guacamole—or wasabi.

(munch, munch, munch)

Hmm.  The almonds are nice and CruNchY, but the coating leaves a great deal to be desired.  There’s the merest hint of apple maybe, but there is nothing pie-like or pie-adjacent.  I detect no cinnamon and no nutmeg.  Nothing but a rather waxy texture and whatever that covering is (pencil shavings?) falling all over everywhere.

Ten points for intent, but minus fifty for poor follow-through.

I bet the human female shovels them into her maw anyway.

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Mini-Break, Part V: The Requisite Visit to the Large Market

It wouldn’t be a trip to the Big City to the South without a visit to the Large Market.  I will admit it—Midgardian food is much more diverse than Asgardian fare.  It’s meat, ale, bread, ale, fruit, mead, cheese, and ale back home, but I never know what we’re going to find here.

Oh!  These, mortals!  Purchase some of these!

blood orange

I don’t know what they look like inside, but with a name like that, it’s bound to be spectacular!

What do you have there, Sigyn?

pepino

Ah.  the sign says, “pepino melons,” but the human female says they’re more closely related to tomatoes and potatoes than cantaloupe or watermelon.  Regardless, Sigyn is hugging the stripey one.  She says she thinks it’s probably sad because it’s not like the others.  Leave it to my beloved to feel sorry for fruit.

One of the best parts is the opportunity to sample all the things the helpers are offering as samples.

fruit spread.jpg

It’s sweet, it’s fruit, and it’s red!   It’s the Sigyn trifecta!

The Large Market has apparently started stocking Fine but Overpriced cookware in Sigyn’s favorite color.

lecrueset

And this is new as well!  If  I understand correctly, these are glutinous rice balls filled with ice cream.   We’ve had the plain ones before with the red bean paste inside—but ice cream!  That’s different!

mochi

The human male wants to try the vanilla, Sigyn wants strawberry, and I’m stumping for Double Chocolate.  Give me all the chocolate…

As always, Sigyn likes to round out her visit to the Large Market with a stroll through the extensive floral department.  Sometimes she finds exotic blossoms, but today’s she’s quite taken with the roses in her two favorite colors:

Sunny yellow,

yellowroses

and cheerful red.

flame rosess

They are no more beautiful than you, my love.

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Mini-Break, Part IV: In Which We Run Into A Spot (or two) Of Bother in the Gift Shop

We are here in the museum’s Gift Shop, which is always a risky prospect.  How so?  There is the very real danger that:

–The human male is going to find an expensive book that he wants

–The human female is going to embarrass us all by squeeing over scientifically accurate stuffed animals.

–Sigyn is going to find something motion-related and become– like this.

It. Happens. Every. Time.  Pendulums, marble machines, factory equipment–doesn’t matter.  Sigyn is absolutely mesmerized by moving things.  In this case, it’s colored oil drops rolling down little ramps in some sort of desk doo-dad.

Oh, sweetie.  Can you…?  It’s all right… Just look away…  Come on.  Lets go look at…something else.  Something not moving.

Here!  Come see this!

dinoboard

Who doesn’t love a good novelty cutting board?

Or maybe you’d like to check out the rubbery prehistoric beasties?

mosasaur.jpg

Jormungandr’s jodhpurs!   Unhand my beloved, you toothy behemoth or I shall render you extinct a second time!  Hang on, Sweetie!  Loki’s coming!

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Mini-Break, Part III: Wondrous and Translucent Lapidaceous Beasties

Sometimes the unexpected is the most interesting.  The humans did not know this exhibit of carved gemstone animals was here.  Magpie-like, the human female has been drawn in by their glitter.  Sigyn has followed and, as I am not in the slightest averse to gemstones, I have come along as well.

I must say, the luster of the agate used has captured the look of a real snail very well.

carved snail1

The card says, “Brazil,” but they were all carved by one man in a little town in Germany.

There’s a purple one as well.

carvedsnail2

Agate is apparently good for toads as well.

carvedtoad5

Careful, Sigyn! That amphibious blivet looks as if it could explode at any moment.

This toad-on-a-mushroom is giving me the stink-eye.

carvedtoad4

Sigyn likes this golden fellow.

carvedtoad1

Great Frigga’s corset!  There’s a pink one!  This Dreher chap must really have fancied toads.

carvedtoad3

Toads which, apparently, come in stripes.

carvedtoad2

Is there *anything* here which isn’t a toad or a snail?

That’ll do, Pig.

carved piglet

That’ll do.

I must admit, this pelican is quite well done.

carved pelican

The human female has decided that it—or perhaps this little rosy mouse–are her favorites.

carved mouse

Sigyn is hard pressed to choose between this ermine…

carved ermine

…and these cavorting otters.

carved otters

Which one do I prefer?  I think I will have to go with this lovely green chap.

carved chameleon

Green, shifty-eyed, and with handsome curly bits.  Yes, this is the one I want.  Give me a moment to disengage the case alarms, and it’s souvenir time!

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Mini-break, Part II: And I Thought the Human Female Came Home From Shopping With Odd Things

We have left the disappointing detective exhibit and are now wandering through an area designed to showcase the museum’s most recent acquisitions.  It’s a motley assortment, for certain.

Sleipnir’s fetlocks!  Why is the human female’s head in this glass case?!

caveman

Oh, sorry.  My mistake.  It’s just a reconstruction of some stone-age nonentity.  The horrible hair, the bushy eyebrows, the beady eyes, the hairy chin—the resemblance is astounding.  You can see why I was momentarily confused.

Sigyn is intrigued by the simply enormous seashells.

giantshell1

Sigyn,  you’d need an awful lot of garlic butter for that escargot!

giantshell2

Ooooh!  Pretty!  The exhibit card says what this is, in terms of minerals and cracks and heat and nodules and blah, blah, blah, but all I can think of is…

rock slice

…what an amazing table top this would make!  I shall have to visit after hours and…acquire… it for my eventual palace.

I saw this armor from across the room, and I had to come over and take a closer look because I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it’s made of.

seedpodarmor

Turns out it’s really, really hard seed pods.  Because nothing is more terrifying than…vegetation.

Oh, look!  Someone has made some cunning architectural models.  Nicely done.

mayamodels.jpg

I’m definitely taking notes for my eventual palace.

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You Believe It Wasn’t Me, Right?

By my own pointy helmet, I swear this wasn’t me!

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/business/article218665930.html

One: taking only 5% of a nation’s GDP is too paltry to bother with, and

Two:  Liberian money is just too hard to unload.

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