Day: June 21, 2019

In Which I Upgrade the Human Female’s Tech

The human male is the Department’s IT geek, so usually he can fix whatever happens to be wrong with the human female’s computer.  He is a very busy person, however, and sometimes he just can’t get over to help her right away.

Today is just such a day.  The human female desperately needs an upgrade to her keyboard and the human male is stuck dealing with a laptop that some hapless faculty member has managed to drop into the Amazon River

So, being the helpful fellow that I am, I have sent the female down the hall to talk to the ferns or something while I make the necessary modifications.

I think her keyboard is missing a few vital buttons.  There, that’s better.

keyboard-eject

Just admiring my handiwork.  Too bad it won’t actually launch her across the room.

I ordered this next button special.  It’s like the manufacturer knows her or something.

keyboard-duh

This orange one will help her chronicle her purchasing woes.

keyboard- #$%!

And she can hit this red one when the new labs don’t work.  Or when a TA fails to show up to teach.

keyboard-panic

Or when the fire alarm goes off.  During class.

Or when she’s ten minutes late leaving for a meeting that is on the other side of town.

Or when she catches a glimpse of herself in the restroom mirror and sees what her hair looks like and realizes that the smiles she’s been getting all day are not admiration but pity.

Or I could install a “well, crap” button and that would pretty much cover all events.

Uh, oh!  Here she comes!  X%&#!

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