The human male is the Department’s IT geek, so usually he can fix whatever happens to be wrong with the human female’s computer. He is a very busy person, however, and sometimes he just can’t get over to help her right away.
Today is just such a day. The human female desperately needs an upgrade to her keyboard and the human male is stuck dealing with a laptop that some hapless faculty member has managed to drop into the Amazon River.
So, being the helpful fellow that I am, I have sent the female down the hall to talk to the ferns or something while I make the necessary modifications.
I think her keyboard is missing a few vital buttons. There, that’s better.
Just admiring my handiwork. Too bad it won’t actually launch her across the room.
I ordered this next button special. It’s like the manufacturer knows her or something.
This orange one will help her chronicle her purchasing woes.
And she can hit this red one when the new labs don’t work. Or when a TA fails to show up to teach.
Or when the fire alarm goes off. During class.
Or when she’s ten minutes late leaving for a meeting that is on the other side of town.
Or when she catches a glimpse of herself in the restroom mirror and sees what her hair looks like and realizes that the smiles she’s been getting all day are not admiration but pity.
Or I could install a “well, crap” button and that would pretty much cover all events.
Uh, oh! Here she comes! X%&#!