One of the new lab exercises the human female and her minions are prepping these days involves growing liters and liters of teeny weeny green algae goobers called Chlamydomonas for the photosynthesis experiments. They’re grown in special, horrifically brightly illuminated growth chambers, in special, aerated liquid media, in big clear jugs called “carboys.”
I am not certain of the derivation of the word “carboy.” They have nothing to do with cars and, to the best of my knowledge, lab plasticware is has so specific gender. English is a stupid language.
Be that as it may, the human female has had to order several, since apparently a lot of green slop is needed for the students.
They were easy to order, if exceptionally pricey. (The manufacturer is extremely proud of their product.) And here they are, all six of them!
It’s a good thing Sigyn isn’t here, because they look like exactly the sort of thing she’d end up getting trapped in and, short of magic, I’d have the very dickens of a time getting her out again.
Actually, this entire purchase has gone too smoothly. I think it’s time to add the special Loki Touch.
The spigots which screw onto the carboys are shipped separately.
And here they are, all….five of them. Mortal, are you sure you have counted correctly? One, two, three, four, five… Oh, dear. Ehehehehehe.
So now the human female is calling the vendor and explaining the problem. She’s politely suggesting that they send her another spigot. Wouldn’t that be possible? Ha! You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But no, the customer service rep is saying, this item is sold as a set, carboy and spigot, together forever, and let no man sunder the bond. She’s quite firm about that. They simply cannot break a set, because then they’d have a broken set, and while the human female would be satisfied, the vendor would be sad, and we can’t have that.
However–and now the rep has switched to her Magnanimous Voice– she might be able to reach out to some of the sales representatives and ask if they have a spare part or something from a demo that could perhaps be sent. She will have to Look Into It and call the human female back.
(A few days later)
No word yet on the Spigot Situation. The human female is picking up the phone again. Is some poor customer service rep about to be harangued?
Can I watch?
Great Frigga’s Hairpins! In a rare and startling burst of cunning, the human female has given the person on the other end of the phone the product number for her carboys and then innocently enquired as to the replacement part number for the spigot.
And the rep has given it to her! Bad move, rep, because now the human female has explained her situation and sweetly suggested that they just box one on up and mail it to her. In the face of this logic, there is nothing the vendor can do except acquiesce. Dammit, human female, you’ve ruined my mischief!
Don’t think this is over.