Dental Hygiene Can Be Hazardous To Your Health

The human female doesn’t have a “beauty routine”—and believe me, it shows—but she’s usually pretty good in the cleanliness department.  I mean, she doesn’t reek or anything.  (Unless she’s been doing yardwork, in which case all bets are off.)  She washes her face and combs her hair and prefers clean clothes to dirty ones.  If there’s one thing she excels at, though, it’s tooth-brushing.  I understand that she spent a lot of ugly duckling years undergoing orthodontic rearrangement, so she’s sporting an expensive set of (sadly still misaligned) chompers that she wants to take care of.

She was brushing said teeth this morning when she felt a bit of breakfast get stuck between her two front teeth on the bottom.   Like the dutiful drone that she is, she then reached for the floss, and when she flossed, she felt something fall out over her lip and into the sink.  She’s curious by nature, so she looked in the mirror to see if she’d removed the offending particle. What she saw made her search for the offending particle in the sink in disbelief  She scooped it up, and here it is.

tooth1

(poke, poke, poke)  Is that what I think it is?!  No!  Ewww, Sigyn, look but don’t touch.  I’m magically protected against her cooties but we can’t take the chance that you’re not immune.

What I have in my hand is…

tooth2

one corner of her lower left central incisor.  It just— “poof”— cracked and fell off.  She keeps poking at the broken edge with her tongue, and apparently there’s a REALLY sharp and pointy point left there, because not only does the tooth hurt, but she’s sliced up her tongue a little too.

Now, we all know that “Schadenfreude” is my middle name, but even I draw the line at tooth owies.  They’re just no fun.

There’s a part of me, though, that is beyond tickled that she now has a dentist appointment, the annual smash-the-frontal-lady-bits, and jury duty all in the same month!  If I can get her to lose her keys or suffer a flat tire, I’ll have a bingo.

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