It’s no secret that the human female is a huge couch potato. And by that I mean she’s huge, and she sits on the couch like a sack of potatoes. The male is similarly sedentary. The two sofas in the living room see a lot of use, and they, like the humans, are starting to show their age and break out in sags and lumps. There has been talk of replacing them.
The other day, the human female discovered that what was supposed to be genuine leather apparently…isn’t. Whatever it is her sofa is covered with is coming loose at the seams.
The human male’s is similarly spontaneously exfoliating.
Tsk tsk tsk! Will you look at that? Unless there’s a special breed of bovine that has a woven or knitted subdermal layer, I’d say the humans were swindled!
The female is six kinds of indignant. Being who she is, though, she’s got a file folder and a sales slip and a receipt and the special five year warranty right here. She can prove without a doubt that these things are six months away from being out of warranty. She’s going to call that store right up and give them a piece of her mind and demand a refund or a discount on replacements and…
Oh, too bad. Looks like you are, as they say, a “day late and (several thousand) dollar(s) short.”
It was a long, long con, but so, so worth it.