Day: March 9, 2020

I’m Just Saving Her, Really

The human female is trying to cut back on sugar.  Woman, your sad delusion that this will somehow render you somewhat less elephantine is laughable.  You don’t stand a chance with me in the house.  Have you not realized this yet?

Not when I put in your path “healthy” juice drinks like this one:

juice

“No added sugars!”  True.  Very true.  But she had made a good start on the bottle before she read the back of the label:

nutrition

And she had to drink it, because her boss and treated her and Prep Staff to a beverage at the local POOC* , and not drinking it would have been rude.

What?  Reader, you think me cruel for hoodwinking her and sabotaging her efforts to be healthier?  

Very well.  I was going to let her have a little treat because she has been trying.  I was going to let her have this interesting foreign lolly.  Doesn’t it look delicious?  Not one, but two flavors—and vitamins to boot!

lolly

Mmm.  Orange AND lemon.  But you’re right, minions.  You’re right.  I shouldn’t be putting sugar in her way.  To save her from herself, Sigyn and I will take care of this.

Come, my love.  Do you fancy one flavor over the other, or do you want to take turns licking both sides?

>|: [

*Purveyor of Overpriced Coffee