Adventures in Marketing, Part I: There’s a Rolling Stones Song About This

The humans, in their last days of quarantine, are still forbidden to go to the market, but there are some things they need.  They have decided, therefore, to avail themselves of the nearby market’s Curbside Pickup option.  It ought to be easy–go online, pick out some comestibles, pay for them, and then have some nice person put it right in the trunk.  A doddle, if ever there was one!

It’s not a long list.  A cucumbers, but they’re available only in pairs so I suppose we’re eating two; six little red potatoes; some peanut butter cheese crackers, which apparently are only available in the two-boxes-of-8-packages each; and a few other items.

I’m all a-tenterhook!  Will it work?

Snort.  Not if *I* have anything to say about it!

Our haul includes the sundries, but there is only one box of peanut butter crackers and a single lonely cucumber.  Quit your griping, mortals, that’s all you wanted in the first place!

And, see!  You got your half-dozen potatoes as well!


Ehehehehehe!  Looks like you will have to try again, perhaps from the larger, we-sell-everything place a little farther from the house.  They have a minimum order for free-pickup, so the humans are loading other needful things, such as their favorite fizzy water and sewing machine needles into the cart.  It’s a little frustrating, because some of the things they’d like to buy are showing as out of stock.  This may take a while.

Finally!  Minimum met!

I worked it so the delivery window is between six and seven p.m.  You know–when all the cranky, shopping-after-work people are there.

It is now 6:15 or so, and the store has texted to say the order is ready for pickup.  The human male has taken the car, driven over a bunch of grapes, and gone to fetch it.

(somewhat later).  It would appear that the market is not, perhaps, as organized as it might be.  It is now about half past six and the human male is providing a narrative for the female.



(later again. 7:00 p.m. is a distant  memory)  We have groceries!  The human male is on his way home with the spoils.

Hmm. How did we fare this time?  Let us examine the e-receipt the male has been sent.


All of those, of course, were showing as in-stock online.  Let’s check on the tomatoes.  Two were ordered.  The receipt shows:


And here are the two tomatoes!


Who says you can’t have fun in quarantine?

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