Day: August 5, 2020

She Gets Stitchy, I Get Twitchy, Then She Gets B*tchy

I’ve mentioned before the human female’s BAP (Big Absurd Project), that huge floral cross-stitch piece that she first saw as a rug.

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She charted the design, stitch by stitch, from photos, and now she is working on stitching it up, on a much smaller scale, in cross-stitch.

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Progress.  Sigyn thinks it’s pretty.  I think it’s a silly waste of time, but I will admit that the needlework looks better than the chart.  I mean, look at this!:

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She’s using colored highlighters to keep track of her progress.  She changes colors every session.  It helps her pat herself on the back for accomplishing something, I guess.

But look up there between the purple mess and the un-colored part of the chart to the right.  See the squares with red squiggles in them?  That’s where the original has stitching and her chart does not.

You see, I helped her with the charting.  I saw to it that she missed some bits, put the wrong symbols in some squares, changed her mind about colors, and so on.  Now, in the stitching, she’s having to refer back to the original photos and catch her mistakes.  She has corrections noted in the margins.

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Look at all the notes for this page!

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It’s an insanely complicated situation.  Her charting program wouldn’t let her use more than one hundred colors, so she had to break the design up into five or six pieces.  Each one has its own set of symbol-color combinations, so there’s a symbol key for each part.

Look at the stupid things she’s named some of the colors:

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Dark brown-mauve“? “Black garnet“? “Reeeeally dark blue“?  Ridiculous.

So she’s begun working on what will be a large, white rose.  She’s done this little bit here that she’s highlighted in green.

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Ehehehehe!  Despite the fact that she has written herself notes in multiple spots, she’s started stitching with the key to one chart…

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…when she should be stitching with the key to a different chart.  You see, she had the white rose and the yellow rose in one chart originally, but she decided she didn’t like the colors she’d chosen, so she changed the colors and included those two roses on the *next* chart.  They’re on two charts, with two sets of symbols, and only one chart/symbol key combination is correct.

We’ll pause now while she goes and tries to find the right symbol list.

(hum te tum, humty tumty tumty tum…)

Oh, I hide things *well.*  She can’t find it anywhere!  She’s going to have to print out a new copy.   And she’s remembered that she needs to change chart printout pages as well.  She’s been using the wrong chart AND the wrong key!

By the time she finds all the pertinent parts, Stitching Time will be over!  And instead of being relaxed, she’ll be all frustrated and cranky.  I love it!

(somewhat later)  There you go, you stupid woman.  Right chart, right key.  And you’ve made some progress.

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Too bad about four rows of the white you put in are misplaced by one stitch…

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