The Miniest of Vacations

There is one side effect of the pandemic virus that no one talks about, one that has affected ME greatly. Not talking about it won’t help matters. It’s time we discuss this like adults.

The virus has made the humans even more boring.

They don’t go anywhere. They don’t do anything. They don’t even buy anything fun anymore. Something has got to change–they’re just gathering dust.

Maybe today we can change that. It turns out that there’s a farmer’s market on the north end of town. Surely that’s something we can do if it’s not too crowded?

Sigyn is having fun already, having been distracted by the weird flowers of the wild milkweed on the side of the road.

We may never actually make it to the market…

It’s actually a fairly pleasant morning. Maybe they’ll have something delicious and breakfasty…

Look, Sigyn! Mad Taco has a tent! We like that place, don’t we?

We haven’t had any for a while because all their stuff is best right out of their kitchen and loses something as takeout. Cold parsley-garlic fries are just…sad. Still, they’re selling the yummy tamale bread they make their tacos on, and that keeps in the freezer. I insist we buy some of that! Be sure to get one of the tickets for the drawing. Every time we buy something, we get a ticket, and the winner gets a big basket with something from every vendor!

While we’re waiting, Sigyn, let’s check out the next booth over. Red pepper vinegar. I know you like the color, sweetie, but I’m not sure you’d like the contents of the curvaceous bottle. Might be fun to sneak into the human female’s food, though…

The next booth down is selling home-made soap. Pumpkin spice, eh?

I suppose it is that time of year. Would you like one of the little soap pumpkins?

Great Frigga’s hairpins! There’s a big knot of people and a commotion up ahead! Is there a band? A juggler? Someone giving away samples?

Snort. No.

Yes, Sigyn–of course you can pet him. No, I don’t think he’s for sale. He’d probably chew up the humans’ shoes even more than Flannel Cat does, though, so perhaps a puppy is something to seriously consider…

Mmmm! We definitely need to buy something in the next stall!

It’s not as sweet as Sigyn, but I can’t put Sigyn on toast.

What’s next? Herbs. There is basil, rosemary, and what’s this?

Never heard of it. What’s it good for? Hey, human female! You’re a walking plant primer. What do you do with this stuff?

Oh, good against gas? You should definitely have mercy on the people who share the house with you and buy some. Please.

Uh, oh. Zinnias ahead. I may never get Sigyn out of this next booth.

Human female, I will buy you a fragrant, colorful bouquet if you promise to nibble the castor bean foliage.

And that is about it, since the ice cream sandwich booth is out of everything interesting. There is nothing left to do except buy some samosas and biryani and the Indian food stall and wait to see if we won the gift basket. The humans put in several tickets, and I signed my name on a whole roll of tickets and put them in the jar when no one was looking.

Rats. Still didn’t win. Sigyn, we’ll just have to come back!

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