Day: December 2, 2020

Haste Makes Waste–and Hilarity

Hurry, human female! You need to be out the door in fifteen minutes and you are running very, very late!

All right. You’ve got your clothes. Now, where are your stockings? No, the white ones. Here’s one.

Fine, where’s the other?

Augh! No, not that one! Those don’t match and you can’t wear that kind with a skirt! Look in the laundry you haven’t folded and put away yet. Grrrr! Not there? Fine, change of plans: Wear the black skirt and the black stockings. You have three of them, surely you can find two?

Clothes and shoes sorted. Clock is ticking! For the love of all things holy, do something with your hair! No one cares what you look like, but if I’m going to be seen with you, you need to not look like chickens have been nesting in there! Throw those barettes in and let’s go

What do you mean you can only find one? Don’t you take them out before bed and put them in the same place every night? Ugh! What is wrong with you this morning?!

Okay, look. Remember you when you couldn’t find the kind you’ve been wearing for thirty years in the store anymore and you found some on ebay and put them away? Yes, those! Time to dig them out and just grab two that match.

There! Yes. Come on—

Norns’ nighties. I can’t believe it. The missing barette was in your hair this whole time? You were so sleepy-stupid last night you slept with it in?

Woman, you need a minder.

And no, I am not applying for the job.

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