A Very Annoying Midgardian Breakfast

It has been quite some time since I ruined the human female’s breakfast. I’ve done some of my best work there. I mean, swapping cat litter for her Grape Nuts cereal? Inspired.

I think I will remedy this oversight this morning.

I see that blueberries are in the bowl, which means I am getting another chance to wreck cold cereal. Besides the kitty-litter lookalike, the human female often eats these little pillow-shaped cereal bits that are supposed to be good for her. But not today! You see, on the last shopping trip, I saw to it that there wouldn’t be any of those in the store. I like to do that: take one thing on the shopping list and make it totally unavailable. (People think it’s the pandemic. It’s not. I just like to wreck the meal plan.) Last month it was canned green enchilada sauce–none anywhere in town. This month it’s the apple-flavored fizzy water that’s so popular in this house. The human male, wanting to please the harpy at home, purchased something similar, but of more robust proportions.

Just how much larger than the minis are they?

That’s huge!

Oh, wait. There is more than one “big biscuit” in this package, and there are several packages in the box.

(poke poke poke). I think I can feel three in here.

Three biscuits would not fit in the bowl with the blueberries–or even without the blueberries! I wonder what the suggested serving size is?

Drum roll….

Ehehehehe! Two biscuits. By my reckoning, if she eats two, she’ll have one left over that she’ll have to seal up and wedge back in the box. She won’t come out even until she’s eaten six!

Not to mention that cereal that is anything less than 100% hermetically sealed goes stale in about twenty seconds here…

Stop whimpering, mortal. There’s always dry toast.

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