Day: February 17, 2021

Mmm. Smells Rather Good in Here

It is still six kinds of winter here. Freezing rain on top of snow on top of sleet on top of ice. The power cycles off and on, the humans crawl in and out of bed. Probably something is frozen and will begin geysiring water the minute it thaws.

Here’s something I jotted down the other day, before all of this hit.

The human female often responds to the cold weather with some sort of atavistic compulsion to produce baked goods. She and the human male—both of whom have been watching far too many British baking shows and have been getting on my nerves talking about “rise” , “crumb”, “proofing”, and “soggy bottoms”—put their limited talents together and managed to produce a pair of what seem to be actual, functional bread loaves.

Of course, they couldn’t be arsed to follow the recipe properly. Their bread has less sugar, and the human female, in a nod to nutrition (as if she isn’t just going to dive right into these carbs) replaced 1 cup of the bread flour with whole wheat flour. They look all right. The proof is in the toasting, though, so I reserve judgement.

Great Frigga’s hairpins! What now?

Some sort of mysterious recipe? I can barely read the scrawl, but I think I can make out the word “vanilla” and that word there might be “eggs.”

Let’s follow along, Sigyn, and see what results.

One stick plus 6 tablespoons of margarine.

Sigyn’s partial stick is straighter than my whole one, because–eww!–the human female had the whole one tucked under one be-sweatered arm to soften it up.

Eggs next. Odin’s Eyepatch! She’s going to use that snakey egg that looked so wonky! Maybe you’d better crack it into a glass, first, in case it’s not good inside…

Ah ha! A double-yolker. That explains a lot.

Sugar next.

Take care not to fall in, my love! I would not want you to get scooped up and shoveled into the eggs and margarine.

Now it looks like we need the brown sugar.

Looks like the human male opened this bag. From the bottom. Typical.

Mix, mix, mix, mix. All the wet stuff has been creamed. All the flour and salt and baking soda and cinnamon have gone in. I am guessing this is going to be some sort of cookie? Whatever the human female adds next will let us know what kind.

Oatmeal, raisins, and chopped pecans. You know, I will probably eat these. There’s nothing in here I don’t like!

Ehehehe! I should have guessed. She’s so lazy that instead of making proper cookies she’s mooshed the batter all into one pan.

It’s so hard to be patient!

Ha! That was fun! She didn’t notice when she put the batter in the pan that it was nested in another pan. The cookie(s) took forever to bake, and then I distracted her so they stayed in the oven even longer. Then she didn’t cut them and take them out of the pan while they were still warm.

Behold the 9″ x 13″ oatmeal raisin granola bar!

Well, maybe not all of it. The sides and bottom are pretty crisp, but the center is still nice and soft. It will take some work to get them out of there, though, I bet.

Snakey egg usefully employed. Kitchen perfumed and warmed. Cookies to look forward to. I call this making the most of a cold and wintry day!

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And now it’s now again. I can report that the cookies are no more. All gone. What with her habit of eating oatmeal for breakfast and then gobbling up all of the cookies, I reckon the human female at this point is 80% oats…

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