Day: July 13, 2021

Mischief Update– A Negative Holding Pattern With Unpleasant Surprises

Gaming weekend has come and gone, and it’s time to turn from levity and laughter resume the relentless march of mischief.

Sometimes, mischief means doing nothing. Or, rather, seeing to it that nothing happens.

NOTHING has been enough to dissuade mosquitoes from biting the human female. She want for a walk today and ended up with a nice big nibble on one ear.

NOTHING has happened with regard to the roof. The roofer won’t even return the humans’ phone calls. Who has “late August” in the roof betting pool?

NOTHING has been decided about a replacement for the female’s defunct illumination device from Obsolete Technology Troubles. The human female’s floristy friend offered a bulb but, of course, it’s not remotely the same size and shape as the female needs. No light = no stitching, so nothing is happening on the embroidery front.

NOTHING seems to be dissuading the human female from eating up all the snacks left from gaming weekend. People more or less divvied up the chips and cookies that were left on the last day, but somehow, all the chips came back to this house. She gets so cross when her pants don’t fit–it’s such fun to watch her fret!

The human female adjusted the cooling box because the ice wasn’t freezing very well, the ice cream was a bit too soft (blasphemy!), and things in the main compartment were freezing up. All her fiddling has done NOTHING to fix the problem, which leaves her to ponder why frozen yogurt is delicious and fun when purchased from a frozen yogurt shop, but a right pain in the fundament when it comes out of the refrigerator at home. Also–frozen mushrooms? Bleargh.

NOTHING has been knocked out of the dining room window recently, which is good. What is going on is the Terror Twins rubbing all over the African violets there so that the leaves are extra-furry. Many of the leaves that hang over the pots have been broken off over the pot rim, and one of the culprits (I believe it to be Flannel Cat) has taken to eating the blossoms as well. So NOTHING is blooming.

What’s left of the one surviving hollyhock in the front yard? Essentially, NOTHING. It succumbed to heat, spider mites, and over/underwatering. A moment of silence, please, for the human female’s dreams of creating an English cottage garden. And what’s happening to the spot in the side yard where some winter-killed grass is missing? NOTHING. The human female is afraid of fungicide…

Remember the fun I had with the song sheets at Sigyn’s church? Guess what I made wrong with them this week? That’s right–NOTHING! I fixed it so that there weren’t any at all! Either they didn’t get put out in the pews or there weren’t any at all. I wasn’t there to see it, since I’m not allowed in the church, but I heard about it, about how the whole congregation just stood/sat there silently while the choir carried bravely on by itself. Awkward!

And, finally, I have the pleasure to report that NOTHING (more) has yet to be done with the craft room ceiling. The project manager from Attempts Total Involvement was round the other day to take a look at the tarped-up hole, shake his head, and deliver some Unwelcome News to the humans. The job, if and when it does happen, will take a week, not the two days they’d been told. I say “if and when” because the calendar is full, full, full, and once the humans get on the schedule, there will be about a four week wait before the workers can start. And last, but most definitely not least, what will ATI do about boxing up all the books and fabric and whatnot for removal from the room while the work is being done? That’s right! NOTHING! Despite what they’d been told, the humans have learned that ATI will only move/manipulate, not pack, so it’s up to the human female to pack it all up.

So now the humans are on a mad, frantic search for any available, preferably free, boxes, enough to take care of all of this:

Plus the contents of the closet’s lower shelves and all the things under that table to the right and all the tchotchkes on the window sill. The humans spent a great deal of time the other day, making the rounds of the copy shops (copy paper boxes are ideal, since they have lids), the liquor stores, and various other places, asking for whatever boxes they can spare. And what did they find?

I’ll give you three guesses and the first two don’t count…

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