The medicine the human female is now on has helped with the racing heartbeat she was having, but today she is having a full-blown panic attack.
And I am giggling up my sleeve.
You see, when she retired from the university after thirty-some-odd years, she was assured, nay–promised–that all of her university email would migrate over to her retiree account. She spent days going through it, neatly sorting it into folders and keeping only the really important stuff.
Friends, that amounts to a LOT of ruined electrons. Three decades and more of correspondence with other botanists, all the messages about the rare Agalinis on her favorite outcrop, and all the email addresses of every person she’s ever collaborated with. Important stuff (at least to her.)
Imagine her distress now, though, because she has just opened her retiree mail account and found this:
Do you see that? Four hundred and twenty-seven measly little messages where there should be thousands. And most of that is useless university announcements that have come in since she retired.
She’s frantically checking–no messages, no folders for messages, and nothing before last September 1.
Gone. Everything gone. She doesn’t even have the email addresses to write to other botanists and friends and tell them that she’s lost everything.
She’s looking like she wants to throw up. This time, I think I might really get the acetone.
In desperation, she’s drafting an email to the university’s IT department, asking if there isn’t some way, any way to get all of this back.
And I can tell you what will happen.
The IT helpdesk auto-responding robot will let her know her query has been received by parroting back at her her own helpless, pleading email.
Later, a student worker will reply, letting her know that her ticket has been forwarded to someone who might actually be able to help.
And after an agonizing twenty-four hours, someone at IT will write back, reminding her that all of her stored mail is actually on a different server and telling her exactly how to access it.
And then I will start running…