Day: September 8, 2021

A Most Auspicious Box

A package has arrived for the human female. It’s too big to be more stamps, and if the image on the outside is to be believed, it is a solution to her dead Obsolete Technology Troubles lamp.

Someone remind me, again, what LED means? If no one tells me, I shall assume it stands for Loki’s Electrical Disasters and proceed accordingly.

She’s almost afraid to open it. What if it’s broken? What if it works now but breaks later? What if it’s no good for stitching? What if she can’t figure out how to assemble it?

What if you just open the d@mned thing, eh?

It appears to have all the requisite parts, very cunningly packed.

And if you are worried about its suitability and its durability, why, let me just summon our chief inspector to have a look!

The verdict?

Inspector Number Two says, “Everything checks out.”

Assembly looks a little complicated, but the human female has watched the video on the website and thinks she knows how to do it. The LED head/lamp piece is “A”, the middle section is “B”, and the bottom of the pole is “C”, which will fit into the base, “D.”

Uh, oh! In the video, the end of “B” that is supposed to screw onto “A” is clearly marked with a little “B” sticker, and there isn’t a “B” sticker here! The threads are a little finicky, and doing it wrong might ruin something! Oh,woes! Whatever will you do now, mortal?

Rats. Rather than have a further meltdown or just jamming things until they either go together or break, she is calling the toll-free number to ask for further instructions.

(a bit later) Well, she had to talk to two different people, because whoever answers the phone doesn’t actually know any product details, but Helpful Customer Service Person Number Two told her that either end of “B” would work to screw into part “A”. So now we thread the cord from part “A” through “B”… and then screw them together…

Now, we thread the cord through “C” (which is marked) and screw “C” into “B”. And then we plug the cord into the socket in the–oof! very, very heavy — base “D”and screw “C” into it. Then the power converter into the base and into the socket, and with a light poke to the touch-sensitive on/off switch

The human female is back in business for the stabbing of fabric and the leaving-about-the-house of bits of colored string. She is very happy. Sigyn is very happy to see the stitchy roses again.

Inspector Number Two is doubly happy.

And I am having a giggle of my own because I’m looking at the human female’s expansive stomach and I know where the missing “B” sticker is…

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